Please, Don't forget
by Trchy
Summary: Every love story has a theme song, a duet that a couple will sing together. But what happens when one of the two forgets the song. This is an angst story, a bit AU, and OOC. Hana and Katja struggle to remember their love song.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've had this story for a long time now and I've finally decided to let others read it now. Reviews and critical comments are accepted, though I will ignore flaming. For the sake of peace, if you're not into Yuri or HanaxKatja, don't read this and complain. That's all, thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Seikon no Qwaser and all characters in the manga/anime belong to their respectful owners.**

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><p><strong>REMINISCE<strong>

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><p>Today is like any other day.<p>

The curtain in my bedroom slightly slits open, letting strikes of sunlight hit my face directly. It's a better wake up call for me than those confounded ringing – beeping alarm clocks or cellphones. Once my eyes feel the heat, my body instantly stands up before my brain can even catch up that it's morning again.

I like eating my breakfast first before I take a bath, or else, I won't even have the energy to turn the knob on. Since I'm not good at cooking, I can only eat cereals and a glass of water. Cold juice in the morning makes my stomach acidic, warm drinks make me want to vomit. When I finish my breakfast, I have the hobby of leaving my plates in the sink until later and wash everything in the evening.

Inside the shower room, I always hated how the stainless steel shower head reflected my image. It's not that I'm ugly or anything but, I just hate this part of my body. I cupped my two breasts and squish their littleness. I've been drinking different meds and liters and liters of soy milk, because I thought they would help on making my breasts grow bigger.

I was never conscious of my body parts before, I always said that my body is already good enough. But, she just had to make me feel self-conscious. That girl, she's always sucking on those big breasts, like a dog with infinite thirst for the tits milk. She is always on the search for another one to take under her absolute lust for sex. I just have to think of a way to get her out of there.

After coming out from the shower, my uniform, freshly taken from the laundry shop is already hanging on the cabinet door. It was a whole blue skirt uniform, with a white long sleeve polo under the top. Looking at it, it makes me feel melancholic and a bit frustrated.

I put it on, and try to fix the skirt to go above my knee, which is impossible. I want to take it to the sewing shop to get it cut short at the skirt and sleeve, but somehow, I just can't tarnish its originality. Its uniqueness comes with its broken button at the top. The only thing that keeps my uniform from falling off my body is the safety pin that replaced the broken button.

So, I'm finished with everything a student does before going to school, the only thing is that-I'm not going to school to attend my classes. I go to the school at the exact time needed, and with proper uniform, but I don't have any stuff with me. I just enter the gates, and walk straight to the main building.

At the end of the main building's ground floor, the newly extended and renovated infirmary of the school is located. The infirmary is a place where people can relax and have some rest whenever they feel bad or sick. That's ironic, because, every time I'm inside this white rectangular room, it's only at those times, I really feel bad to the point of being sick.

The last bed, just adjacent to the wall at the end of the room was barricaded with the thick flesh colored curtain screen. The fact that it's already closed like that just means that she's on it again. I can hear it from my position at the door frame. I can hear those slutty, evil moaning's.

If I even squint my eyes, I could see if they're positions, since they're silhouettes is nothing but seeable from the ultra-lighted room. The eight o'clock bell rings from the corridor. I find myself smiling a little.

The shadows behind the curtain jump and hasten at the same time. Quickly, a girl, or a woman I should say, sided the curtain bed to the right wall, revealing her almost naked body. She was already on her black skirts but her top was still under her feet at the bed, and her bra was still unclasped. She didn't mind me seeing this since this has been happening more than once now.

After that woman is able to put her top and blazer on, she runs to the door, passing by me like I'm a ghost unseen. She looks back at the girl left in the bed, who was still busy putting her own clothes on.

"Thank you, Nuna, you really are the best." The woman attested before completely disappearing.

I was just standing there from the door frame, waiting for her to get finished changing. She casts me frequent glances without a word until she finishes and stands up. She walks toward me.

"It's you again." She intently eyes me. "What did you say your name was?"

I felt a crumple in my heart, sure, she already has sex with everyone and even in front of me sometimes, but can't she at least give an effort in remembering my name?

"Ekaterina, Ekaterina Kurae, but I told you that you can call me Katja." I answered her question a while ago, scorching anger evident in my tone.

This girl, this wicked, monstrous girl is just too much. I hate it how she just nods to me when I say something, when she's obviously drowned in engrossment with other girls.

Hana Katsuragi, a tall, dark orange haired and brown eyed girl. Years have passed, and her short hair has grown long now. She ties it in a ponytail with the use of a red string that she lets the excessive parts slide down her back.

If anyone didn't know who or what she was back then, I can hardly let you believe on what I know. Before, Hana wasn't this womanizing bitch or slut. Yes, I may have called her that and other worst things, but those were just my expressions. I didn't honestly saw her as such an uncouth lifeform.

A lot of events have resulted to this very moment in the infirmary. I'm not that small - well not literally-blonde mistress of Hana anymore. I can hardly talk to her, especially when she's trying her best to get away from me.

"What do you need now?" Hana asks while she scans through some record book at her desk. "You shouldn't cut your classes just to spy on your school nurse having sex with some hot teacher."

I frowned as I averted my eyes, which had seemed to be stuck on looking at her. From all the things I hate about Hana, this takes the first and second place.

Firstly, I hate how she talks so sarcastically and insensitive, she was never like this before. Second, I hate how she keeps telling me how great or hot her sex partners are.

I can already feel my blood boiling dangerously; it's like an infernal instinct to kill. Although I've been seeing it more often then I want to, and I try to tell myself that I'm used to it by now-I still get very jealous when Hana makes love with other girls.

"I'm not cutting my classes to watch you have animal sex. I come here to stop you from doing that."

I walk closer to Hana's table, and forcefully take away her records book. "You'll get suspended or even fired if the school knew you're having sex here in the clinic."

I felt so irritated when she just laughed at my worry. "Please, what do I care? There are a lot more schools, with hotter teachers, and hotter students."I shake my head left to right in dismay. Sometimes, I forget how worse she is.

"Besides, I want to get away from you." Hana added while looking at me seriously.

Another crumple tortured my heart. "I'll follow you anywhere." I said with a stress in _anywhere._

"Psst, what do you even get from stalking me kid? I don't do pedophile, and I hate bratty kids like you."

I raise an eyebrow at Hana; I was quite close to maniacally laughing. "Then you don't know yourself, Hana."

The dark orange girl didn't give a clear reaction in her face, but her silence meant she was thinking. I started to stare at her again. I always find it irresistible to stare at her serious thinking mode. She would always raise one of her hand to her chin, and then her eyes will slightly bend smaller like almonds. She exerted a different aura whenever she focused like this. Almost like she was an entirely different. Only now, she really is.

I miss _my_ Hana.

I've been mentally saying that, every time I look at her. She is Hana, this body, this is Hana, but she's not my Hana. She's nothing but a shell, no, she's a prison. Encapsulating the one I love inside. Somewhere deep inside this woman's heart is the Hana that belongs to only me.

"I want to have sex with you." I say out loud, breaking Hana's train of thoughts.

She raised her head slightly and looked at me up to down and vice versa. "I told you I DON'T do pedophile." She said strictly with her arms closed.

"I just have a small body but I'm already seventeen!" I shouter and before she could protest more, I turn around and lock the infirmary door. I walk back to Hana's table and forcefully pull her out of her chair.

We stood at the middle of the room, Hana's back slightly near to hitting the footboard of the bed. Her height is still lengthier than mine so I had no choice but to tiptoe to reach her lips, and to press them to mine.

I felt the familiar burn of passion and longing in the center of my stomach and at the center of my legs. Although, this time, kissing Hana was happy and agonizing at the same time. I loved our lips together like this, but I also love Hana's lips to only be mine.  
>I can taste the different shades of lipsticks on her lips, and the different flavor of people in her tongue.<br>When my feelings of pain had overwhelmed those of my happiness, I slowly break away from the kiss where I was the only one doing everything.

Soon enough, Hana's robust lust for sex had allowed my request to come true. After a few minutes, I found myself naked and lying bare in the middle bed of the infirmary. Hana was also naked now, kissing my thighs and travelling her tongue upwards. I hold on to her hair and grip it so hardly that I heard her squint for a bit. I couldn't stop myself from moaning quite loudly in surprise when she jumped to biting my nipple while fondling my other breast.

It's been years since I last had sex with Hana, since I last felt her caressing my body. And again, a stab of melancholy strikes through my heart when I imagine her doing this with other people.

My reminiscing and self-thinking had taken my attention away from our love making, but I soon got back to reality when I felt Hana stop moving. I looked at her brown eyes and asked non-verbally why she stopped moving. Hana looked odd at me, her look screamed of disappointment and discontent.

"I just can't do it." She said before crawling down the bed. I stood up in a sitting position and took my uniform to cover my naked exposed body.

"Why not?" I asked, still completely dissatisfied and confused.

"Your small breasts are a turn-off." Hana said with a cool and demanding voice, like it was an order that this is the final straw, and I shouldn't bother her anymore.

Maybe if it weren't for back then, I could easily take account of what she just said. Maybe, if it just didn't come from her, I wouldn't feel this miserable. I tried putting on my uniform, or rather her uniform when she was still a student, as fast as I could before running out of the infirmary. My eyes stung. My chest burned. And my heart is broken.

I hate running, I hate the feeling of panting so much after your speed decreases and slowly you feel so tired. But for today, there's nothing I want more than to be able to go home and lock myself up. As soon as possible.

I stayed with Hana in her apartment complex years ago, but I don't have that privilege anymore. Instead, I've done my best to get a condo unit close to her home. I wished every morning that I can see her in the street and walk with her, but it never happened since she has a car to ride on. She had different people, man and woman sitting at the passenger front seat whenever I tried to take a peak.

Inside my bedroom, I clustered my body to the wall as I hugged my knees to my chest. I allowed myself to cry now. I don't usually cry, I didn't even know I had the capacity to cry. I also didn't know I had the capacity to love someone this much. I've been going through hell just to be able to see her. I've been closely following Hana for two years now, stopping and resuming time and time. I might decide to totally just stop pushing myself to her, but there's really no place I can go to anymore.

This feels so unfair. I should be enjoying my life with Hana, making love with her and spending the days together, but nooooo, she's out there! Frolicking with mutual sluts and bitches alike!

I started ripping my blankets in aggravation, I know I don't deserve this, and I know that Hana is not to blame. Ok, well, partially, she has a fault.

Hana, she doesn't have even one bit of a memory about me when I went to her at her university two years ago. She was on her graduating semester in nursing, when I appeared in front of her, asking her to come with me. She looked shocked at me, clearly naïve to who the hell was the blonde petite girl demanding her? Hana's classmates were behind her at that time, asking her who I was. Hana looked at me so keenly before answering that she has no idea who I am. I already knew about her condition, but I hoped that she would remember me that time; I was obnoxious to how special I was to her.

Though you can't blame me also, it was only four years ago when I was so sure and it was so clear that I was the most important person in Hana's world.

It was four years ago, fresh in the middle of the wartime.

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><p>Hana was continuously training with me and the others. Her nature of always slacking and doing unintended mistakes had earned her a degree in training alone at a secluded garden of the building we were staying on. It was a big fortress, with triple plastered cement and hollow blocks. The center of the big square building was open, and below it was two gardens divided by glass encasements. The first glass encasement had little to no plants, but it was rich in soft, thick and brownish earth filling. The second glass encasement was full of plants. The plants inside there were so varied that even poisonous ones were present.<p>

Hana was the only one forced to train there, and of course I didn't give a care about how she will survive inside that place. I still trained along with the others and took substitute Maria's for the sole purpose of making Hana jealous. How karma is making me pay for all of that now! Eventually, Hana did get caught in the venomous plants. She was made to rest and cure at an isolated room at the end of the last floor of the fortress' main bldg. I don't know what was controlling me then, but I know I wanted to go there and see her myself.

I was told by one of the fortress guards that I shouldn't visit her since she was going through a high fever because of the poison. The high fever - they said- could be very contagious and deadly. I twitched my face to their warnings and used Mama to strangle them. Nobody decides if I should or should not visit my sick servant, but me.

When I got to the room, I slowly opened the door. The room was a simple monotonous gray and white box. There was no other furniture but a wooden bed side table, a black plastic chair, and a bed at the center where Hana lied.

I walked to the foot of the bed, and saw how wrong Hana looked like. Nobody was taking care of her at all. Her forehead was full of drip sweats, her eyes were bloodshed red with black bags under them. Her lips were so dry and her skin color was ghostly. There wasn't even a glass of water near her, or any kind of food. I knew at that time that everyone must have been afraid of getting her fever, so no one volunteered to take care of her. Mafuyu, Sasha, they believed what those damn guards told about Hana's contagious fever.

Although I wouldn't admit it to Hana at that time, I felt very worried to see her like that. I had to gather my resolve before I spoke.

"You see Hana; this is what happens when you don't stop being such a clumsy girl."

I looked at how slowly, and bit by bit, did Hana raise her head to see me. She answered me with such a hoarse, out of air voice.

"I'm sorry, Katja-sama. I'll do better next time."

"You should Hana; you can't be a Maria to the great Ekaterina if you're this frail sick bodied warrior. I' am a queen, and I was made to get the best of the best warriors."

Hana coughed loudly after that speech of mine, she pulled her blanket up to cover her mouth, and started to talk or rather mumble behind the blanket.

"Katja-sama, you should better leave now, you can't catch my sickness."

I had to look at her more intently after that. For a second, I was sure there was blood in the blankets she coughed at. I tried not to show my growing worry.

"Oh, Hana, are you telling me that you believe in what those fools are telling you?"

Hana just nodded lightly at me, only that and then she pleaded me to leave, again. I didn't listen to her for the second time, to make it worse, I even went closer to her. I walked to her right side and stood right in front of her. She looked at me, with those small, tearing eyes and called my name.

With steady increments, my hand stretched to reach her forehead. I was hesitant, not because I had a hiding belief in what they told me about Hana's fever, but because I was scared I might press too hard and hurt her. By the next second that I felt her cold sweat under my palms, I remembered how much Hana loved pain, and decided to press my hand harder. Hana moaned, not with the usual shrill of joy I was accustomed with, but with a moan that sounded of pain and nothing else.

"Katja-sama, I'm sorry but my body hurts all over, I can't play with you right now."

Quickly, I soften my press on her forehead and wiped my hand to clean the sweat.

"I'm not yearning to play with you Hana; you're always the excited one."

Hana giggled lightly at me, and internally, I felt happy that I could make her do that amidst her sick condition.

"Has anyone come here to take care of you?" I asked, almost surprised myself that I was able to get that sentence out.

Hana shaked her head, "Kind of, the guards bring a tray with some soup, water and meds."

"How many times a day?" I thought that since I've already started the conversation, I might as well ask everything I want to.

"Three, but it's always just plain porridge, and the meds taste so bad."

"Oh, really?" I asked rhetorically before commanding her something. "Put your tongue out."

Hana instantly did what I ordered; she opened her mouth wide and let her tongue out. Even her tongue looked so weak. I lifted my index finger and slided it down on her tongue. Hana's body shuddered under the blankets. I sucked my finger and tried to taste her saliva, but there wasn't a taste at all, though a bitter flavor did kick for a second.

I then leaned down to taste her whole tongue, but she pulled it back in her mouth.

"Katja-sama, you can't! You might get my fe-

I didn't wait for that girl to stop talking; I forcefully opened her mouth wide and let my tongue inside her mouth. I encircled the inside of her mouth, up and down and twisted my tongue with hers. I could taste nothing but bitter and sour. Her mouth was dry of sediments, as if she hadn't been eating any solid food for days. Below her tongue, the bitterness was worse, which can only mean that she must have vomited more than once now. As I took my tongue out of her mouth, a line of dribble elasticated, creating a thin liquid line while I pulled farther away.

"I'll come back tomorrow, and bring you some real food." I said as I fixed Hana's head position in the pillow. I gave her my signature smirk before leaving her room completely. By night time, I had a meager time to waste for researching. I went to the library inside the fortress and looked for the data of plants and landscaping. I was able to get an old dusty records book of all the plants found inside the fortress.

The plant that was notarized to have affected Hana is a strong, poisonous and deadly plant, although death is not so fast to come. The effects of the poison will cause severe fevers, bleeding, rashes and dizziness. My small intended research became something like a thesis writing. I looked for every bit of information about the plant, and records of people who've been victimized by it before. By morning the next day, I found myself telling Mafuyu to cook something for Hana to eat. I told her and Sasha about my servant's condition. Quickly, the two looked worried and willing to help. We all went to her bedroom after our training; the sun was already on its way to setting.

Hana asked us to leave fast, but I stayed behind as Mafuyu and Sasha left on Hana's first request.

The food that Mafuyu made for her was fried rice and miso soup. The food was placed on the bed side table, smoking its delicious fragrance at Hana's direction.

"Well, I'm not going to feed you, so start eating on your own already." I told my servant as I sat at the mono block adjacent to her.

Hana nodded at me before sitting up and trying to eat. The longer she ate, the more she got slower, the more her face looked like she wasn't enjoying the food at all. By another minute, she showed signs of wanting to vomit and seconds after that, she went running to the comfort room. I could hear her hard vomiting until she pushed on the toilet flush. She went out, holding her stomach.

"Do you always do that when you eat?"

"I can't help it, I always feel like doing that, especially when I've eaten."

My worry was growing bigger again, and I felt unsettled unless I make this worry go away. I went to the trouble of going out the fortress the next morning. I bid a big amount of money for a medicine specialist to concoct me the perfect medicine for Hana's condition. It took me until afternoon to wait for that medicine to get ready.

When I got back to the fortress, I poured the powder medicine in a glass of water that I made Hana drink. The medicine specialist told me to expect that she'll soon fall asleep when she drinks the medicine, so I left the room after seeing her finish the water.

By midnight that day, I still felt unsettled, very unsettled. I went fast walking to Hana's room, and peeked at her, still sleeping. But of course, what did I expected? I went back to my room, realizing just how anxious I've been feeling for the past days. It made me wonder what kept making me feel nervous.

The next morning, I went into my training clothes. Blue jogging pants and a red t-shirt, with my blonde long hair tied in a ponytail. I was walking not to the training grounds but to Hana's room again. When I got inside, I found her still asleep in the bed. I splattered some water on my face at the comfort room and took a towel with me to act as if I'm wiping sweat.

I sighed excruciatingly. "I've been training so much for the past days, while you're just resting there, Hana."

I looked at the orange haired girl, not a movement or a reaction to my speech. I held her forearm covered in the white blankets and shook her lightly as a first. When I could see that my shaking was too light, I shook her harder, and harder, and still nothing. My heart started to palpitate by that time.

"Hana" I called her in a condescending tone; commanding her to wake. "Hana" I called again.

I pulled the blankets off her body and touched her skin, so cold and stiff. My mind went blank all of a sudden. "No way, it can't be…."

I tried shaking Hana's body again, more firmly and harder. If it weren't for the bed moving and the buildup of scratching screaks in the floor, I wouldn't even realize how strong I've been juddering her body. I had to clutch my hands on her forearms. My mind knew what this meant, but another part of me didn't want to accept that it was what it was. I lifted Hana's chin and yelled at her.

"Baka! How dare you? After I gave you food and medicine? You dare do this to me? Baka! You don't have the right to do this! Wake up now or I'll really kill you!"

My heart's palpitation felt so aching now, and at the back of my mind, I thought how I was the reason for this. If I wasn't around, this girl would've lived longer than this. For the first time in my life, I felt guilty about something, I felt like crying for someone I hurt.

But, my worries and my sadness escalated into a spiral downward fall. Hana's eyes opened slowly and within seconds, I was now looking into her rich, brown eyes.

"Katja-sama" She said, with her usual voice now.

I took my hand away from her chin and blinked my eyes to come back to my senses.

"I feel better now, I think I'm cured." Hana exclaimed too happily as if the whole event with my drama a while ago, was but an irony meant to be played at.

I guess I overreacted with the situation, because when I touched Hana's forearm again, it didn't feel that cold. Maybe, the heat of her body when she was still in a fever was too hot that her regular body temperature now felt so cold.

"Well then you better get up from there and come train with me. You're not going back to that garden of poisons anymore, and you're going to get a big punishment later."

I didn't wait for Hana to say anything anymore or do anything; I quickly walked out of the room, and smiled as I heard her hurrying up to get out of the bed, calling me to wait for her.

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><p>- To be continued -<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Get Out of that State**

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><p>The past isn't like a movie that we can watch when we miss it. It doesn't have the function of replay or restart; instead, the past is like a theater show. It can't be recorded anywhere but in our brains. We have only that exact time to let our minds memorize what we want, make them sink in and be stocked in our memories. And whenever you want to relive in that moment, all you can trust are the things, you've dearly kept remembered.<p>

I didn't know it until now, how unconsciously my brain had decided to keep so many memories of those days, of those months, of those years. And sometimes, I wished I knew, so that I could've stopped it.

Every waking hour, every sleepless night, my mind is haunted by those joyous memories. The more I indulge in them, the more it's harder to keep going on in this timeline. If only they were dreams, I would do anything to get trapped in that dreamscape. I would give up anything, just to have her back in my world. I've been slipping to the world of wishful thinking for God knows how long, and every time it happens, it gets harder to leave. Like today, I didn't even know it was already evening. I was just reminiscing a while ago, when red blaring lights came into my windows.

I had to wipe some of the tears that were drying up at the ends of my sockets. Although I know it'll hurt again, I stood up and still wanted to have a peek at Hana. She had just gone down from her car, and gave the valet boy her car keys. She only does that when she comes home alone, which is once in a blue moon. It's a small thing, yet it always makes me feel better, even now when I was just so mad at her in the morning.

A little giggle came out of me as I thought more. How funny to say what I just said, since it would seem that it was always like that, even before. I was always a tad bit moody with Hana. There were days when I just wanted to torture her to pain, and then there were those days when it just felt good to make her happy. There are mornings that are spent with yummy breakfast and happy chitchats, then there's the evenings where we don't do anything but to scold or fight. Though, I always do win.

The lights of the room just adjacent to mine are open now, that very room is where Hana lives. It's a small type of apartment complex, all furnished and simply designed. I actually don't remember how well it looked, because I made a lot of changes there when I moved in with Hana. Changes, I'm sure she's abolished by now. She doesn't know I live here, just a small street away from her, just glass and concretes, and curtains to barricade us from one another. That's my only reason to always keep the curtains closed, and slit open for just a few inches, to let light glares come in.

The next day comes, and I'm back again inside of the school Infirmary. Stubborn, yes, that's what I am, that's how I prefer to be. Hana was alone today, which made a good morning to me. She's brushing her teeth right now in the comfort room, watching me for spilt seconds then facing back to the mirror above the sink, inside the CR.

She comes out while whipping her lips, which soon curved to an unhappy grin. "It's you, AGAIN." She said while walking closer to her table. She took one of the logbooks and handed it to me. "Every day for the past year, your name has been present in that logbook, so much, that I don't even let you log in at the log book anymore."

"Well, I don't think there's any problem with that, Nurse Katsuragi" A teacher appears behind me. He is a tall, skinny man with light brown hair and thick rimmed glasses.  
>"The students can use the infirmary as much as they want. Also, it is most important that you let everyone write in the log book, for record purposes."<p>

Hana looked pissed at me and the teacher behind me. She must think that I brought the teacher to scold her.

"Well, Sir. Toshii, I know you mean well and it's part of your job to be nosy about student's personal lives. But haven't you considered that what this little girl is doing is not a part of her right, but an abuse to it."

Hana opens the log book in front of the teacher; she scans all its pages, with my name written in almost every line. "Record purposes you say? Wouldn't you think it's a nonsense that this girl named Ekaterina Kurae has never had a day of feeling well, and is always resting in the infirmary? Actually, she's never even come here with a reason to be here."

I giggled silently to myself. Past Hana, present Hana, whoever Hana is at the moment, one thing that could never change from her is that edgy toughness surrounding her. Although she's a complete submissive partner, she's actually very sketchy when it comes to facing things she really despises. She gets hyped up to the point of swishing her hands in the air, while she talks as confident and violent sounding as she could. And even when it only showed a few times when we were still together, Hana has the capability of not letting others break her down so easily.

"Even if, Nurse Katsuragi, you should still treat the student with a pleasing personality. I don't like it how you talked to her a while ago."

Hana looked even more pissed, and her stare was only on me now. My quite giggle had suddenly stopped.

"Is this the only reason you're here Sir. Toshii? To reprimand me about my preference of being stingy to your student?"

It's a good thing that the teacher was a calm and understanding man. Sir. Toshii, didn't mind any of Hana's harsh words, and just continued to talk in his mellow, serious voice.

"No, Nurse Katsuragi, I'm here to accompany my student, Ekaterina Kurae in asking you for a favor."

"Let me guess, a lifetime ticket to the infirmary and having me as her private nurse?"

"Definitely no, Nurse Katsuragi, you see, Ms. Kurae is a senior now, and she is interested to take the entrance exams in your alma mater, Betenoire University. Since your college is in England, Ms. Kurae is fairly unknown to the place so she wants to ask your favor in accompanying her there."

Hana had started to look doubtful now, she shaked her head left to right. "That's stupid; this girl had been stalking me ever since I was still in college there! She even knows my dormitory there!"

"Now, now Nurse Katsuragi, you don't think I would believe something as absurd as that, would you? Just please be professional for once, and accept the job given to you."

The teacher takes out a folded piece of paper and hand it to Hana. The orange haired opened it and scanned through the letter.

"That is a letter of leave that I've already prepared, you will have a substitute nurse by tomorrow, and your wage will have a half bonus for the favor we asked you. I wish that's enough for you to agree."

Sir. Toshii faces me and smiles wearily. "Good Luck, Ms. Kurae" He says before leaving the infirmary.

Hana throws the paper at her desk and looks at me. "I don't know what you said to him or how you did it, but you're a devil."

"Do you agree to the favor then?" I asked almost excitedly.

"Hell, yeah! A free trip, a bonus and a leave out of this boring clinic? Of course, I'll do it. Besides, I totally know that you don't really need me to accompany you anywhere there."

I smiled at Hana. "So you just agree to it without knowing what we'll really do there?"

"Well, what's the worst that could happen? You tie me up and rape me? I'd even ask for a second round if you're good."

Maniac, that's what Hana is. A total maniac who'll agree to anything as long as she knows she'll get something out of it.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Hana, it's a good thing your fine now." Mafuyu greeted Hana who was doing some stretching beside me. We were all back at the garden again, the one without those poisonous plants.<p>

"Why? Was there a problem when I was sick?" Unconsciously, I was already eavesdropping in their conversation.  
>"Kind of…Katja wasn't training at all, wasn't she with you?"<p>

From my peripheral visions, I can make out that Hana nodded to Mafuyu, but she quickly added something to say.

"Yeah, but she was only there for a few minutes and it wasn't every day." Hana then shifted her face to me. "Where did you go then, Katja-sama?"

Though I felt calm at that time, I punched Hana's stomach with my elbow. "It's none of your business." To tell the truth, I was actually spending a lot more time in Hana's room which I didn't know she was unaware of. Her time must have felt faster under the sickness, or maybe she was too weak to notice little things like time.

"Yes, Katja-sama" I heard her say while struggling to do some curl ups.

Needless to say, Hana's body wasn't really that fit for training yet. Even when that fool tries to hide it, you can read it in her expressions that her body was still aching somewhere. It's very uncommon of me to have some pity at that time, but I have to admit, that a lot of my little pity is all only for Hana. It's like a separate box in my body. I try to minimalize it as much as I can, but most of the time, it spills out and I can't stop but let it just run out when it wants to. I made Hana stop training by the afternoon, and I felt distasteful about letting her rest again. I hate it, since I haven't almost rested myself, so why was it so important to let that dumb head rest before me?

"Katja-chan, where did Hana go?" Mafuyu asked me while shaking my shoulder. I've been looking at the ground for seconds at that time. "I told her that she can taste my miso soup since she couldn't taste it when she was sick."

"You cooked miso soup again?"

Mafuyu nodded at me. "Yeah, even Sasha likes it a lot, say, why don't you just take your share along with Hana's?"

"I'm not that girl's courier; let her get her our share."

"Ok then, she can just come by my room." Mafuyu quickly left me after that.

Inside the fortress, everything is made of stone and gray bricks. The hallways were lighted with torches, hanging from the torch holders that were glued to the wall. The floors had carpets in them, either muddy red or mad green.

Up in the third floor, Hana and my room were next to each other, the first doors after the big wide staircases. The very first door was Hana's room. I was going to knock first but I realized that the door wasn't locked, it was even ajar. The interiors of the bedroom inside that fortress were all the same. They were all square, maybe twenty five square meters. The walls, and floors were also made of gray bricks, the ceilings were minty blue. At the end of the room, there were two long, narrow windows, cut only from the bricked wall. Hana was at her bed, sitting up and writing something in a small notepad.

"Katja-sama!" that servant of mine instantly felt my presence.

"I gave you a chance to rest Hana and all you're doing is this? Writing things I know are worthless even without looking. Don't expect me to give you some rest anymore."

Hana didn't look saddened with my mean words, but on second thought, it's like she doesn't even hear most of my mean insults.

"Katja-sama!" She yelled my name again as she stood up from her bed and run in front of me. She went sitting on the floor, and looked up at me with praying hands. "I want to be punished."

"Don't you have any shame in you Hana? You've been nothing but an idle hindrance to me." I whipped my blonde hair to the air. Hana crawled closer to me, and held on to the hem of my black dress.

"Then what should I do to get punished Katja-sama? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stop touching me Hana, let go of my dress. " I pulled myself away from Hana and fixed the crumples in my dress. "I want to eat." I then said. "Go get my food at Mafuyu's room, now!"

Hana came running out of her room and went down the stairs. Mafuyu and Sasha's rooms were at the second floor, the last two doors at the hallway. It'll be a minute or more before Hana could get back so I made my way to her bed and sat down there to wait, a few inches from where I sat the notepad slided down to my side. I ignored it at first, flicking it with my hand to fly away.

"Hmph!" I huffed out then stayed quiet. After a few seconds Hana had come back, carrying a plastic bag. She saw her notepad at the floor and looked back at me.

"Did you read it Katja?" She asked, worry in her face. That alarmed expression of hers made me curious to know what was written in that notepad. But I couldn't read it anymore since she took it from the floor and placed it in the pocket of her black jeans.

I took the plastic bag she had and went to the door frame. "I'll be enjoying my food now. See you tomorrow, Hana." I said before slamming her door on my way out.

I didn't know that time that I took past Hana's last chance to taste Mafuyu's miso soup.

* * *

><p>I've been running for a few minutes now. I hate running, I hate it so much! But I can't slow down now. Hana is waiting for me at the school gates. I never wake up from noises of my phone, but Hana was calling my number for an hour, non-stop. Eventually, the noisy ringtone reached the depth of my sleep and woke me up.<p>

The time of our flight was at 10 am, but it was just 8 am when I answered Hana's call. She told me that she'll be waiting for me at the school gates; she told me that we would use her car to get to the airport, after eating breakfast together!

I had just reached the street in front of our school, and I saw that Hana wasn't lying. Her car was illegally parked at the side of the school car was a stylish white convertible Porsche. The roof was tapped down, Hana was leaning at the door, wearing denim shorts, a light black jacket above a yellow shirt and black boots that had high heels. Her hair was tied in a different ponytail now, her bangs were spiking to the right while the tail was tied up. Hana saw me at the other street and waved at me.

I waited for the cars to stop passing by until I was able to run to her side of the street. I was only wearing my…her school uniform.

"Why are you wearing that?" She asked while pulling the neckline. It makes me want to ask her if she doesn't remember that this was her uniform.

"I was in a hurry. You made me hurry." I said, while fixing the top of the uniform, the very loose size makes it easier for the polo to open up. Hana was staring down at my chest part, and I wondered what she was looking at.

Suddenly she pulled the safety pin buttoned at the uniform. "I remember having one of these when I was in high school."

My eyes opened wide. This was the first time Hana remembered something about her past, that was actually correct.

"Yeah, what else do you remember?" I asked looking at her intently.

Her eyebrows bended down, "A lot…that I'm not going to tell you." Hana pushed me away, a bit hard too. "Look kid, I'm only coming with you for the benefits, but I'm already warning you, don't get attached." Hana poked me at the chest repeatedly.

She then opened the door of the driver's seat and pointed me to the shotgun seat. For the two years I've been following Hana, she's change cars more than a dozen times already, and I'm still wondering where all her other cars are. Also, for those dozens of cars I've seen her drive, this is the only car I've been able to ride on. So I guess this is my favorite from now on. But that's going to change in a few hours.

Along that ride to the airport, which I don't know if it's really short, or it's just my body reacting to the small chance I can be alone with Hana. The orange haired girl is immensely focused on the road ahead, letting a metallic kind of music play on the stereo. By the time that Hana had the car pulled over; we were already at the front façade of the airport.

Once we got down the car, Hana took something from the back seats before calling someone in her phone. When she put the call down, I pulled on her jacket.

"What about your car?" I asked her, realizing that no one was with us to take over the car now.

Hana mildly smirked at me. "Just wait" She said. We stood at the front of her car for a few minutes before Hana waved at a girl who was fast walking to our direction.

"Hana, I'll take it from here." The girl said. She was a tall woman with light violet curly hair. She wore the usual office lady uniform and had a suitcase at her right hand.

"Saeko, Thanks for coming to take it. I'm sorry if I'm causing you some trouble." Hana's voice had changed to something so angelic sounding now. She took the girl's one hand and handed the car keys to her.

"Oh, no Hana, anything for you." The girl named Saeko said with a blush in her face. I noticed how she squeezed on Hana's hand.

"Ok, we'll be leaving now. Bye" Hana then leaned in to give the girl a fast kiss before pulling me to come inside the airport.

My heart started to feel tight again, no matter what I do to have Hana for myself; I can never get what I want. "You let her borrow you're car?" I had to find a way where I can put my bad feelings to a side.

Hana laughed. "No, I was the one who was borrowing her car."

"What? But you've been using that car for months now!"

Hana's grin was so wide, stretching the ends of her cheeks. "Yeah, so what? That girl's crazy for me, she might even give me that car, if I ask her to."

"Wait…then does that mean that all your other cars were just borrowed?" By now, Hana had dragged me inside a café, and was looking for a vacant table.

"Got that right, each car equals different woman." Hana's tone sounded like she was so proud to say that. "There!" She yelled when she saw a table that was just vacated.

As Hana pulled me to that table, I felt my body weakly sit down. The table was a two seater, so the two of us faced each other. Hana checked the menu and called for the waitress. I was already sunk in a depressive air, so I'm unable to recall whatever she ordered. The next thing I know is that Hana was snapping her fingers in front of me.

"Hey, what do you want?" She asked me, the waitress was still standing beside her.

I could answer her anything.

"Come on, I'll pay for it." She added with a sweet tone.

"Coffee, the blackest, most bitter one they could offer." I said out loud so that even the waitress could hear it. Hana stared at me confused, while the waitress wrote down what she heard and asked for us to wait for the order.

"What was that about? Don't you want to eat anything?"

"I'm not hungry, and what's wrong with my order anyways…huh? Nuna?"

Hana shaked her head slowly "Wow, you're a brat." She exclaimed. "Can you even drink what you just ordered? Blackest, bitter most coffee?"

"Trust me, I've drinked worst." Hana had given up on talking with me now. Though it's very evident that she's irritated, and it makes me feel guilty. "I just don't get it, you follow me everywhere and want to stick to me like a leech, yet you don't even want to explain why you're doing it." Hana began to talk again. She was back at looking at me, but it looks like she's not mad anymore.

"I've explained it before, a lot of times already."

"No, the only thing you said was that I'm currently suffering memory lost and personality alteration because of some unfortunate bad timing event."

I nodded at Hana. "Yes, you remember it correctly, Hana-chan."

"Don't call me that, I'm older than you."

"Then Hana-oneesama"

"Ugh, why does it feel so wrong to hear you call me that?" Hana scratched her arms while shivering a little. "Anyways, I don't believe what you said; I've never been in an accident, if that's the unfortunate bad timing event your pertaining to."

"I wish it was just that." A waiter comes between us in the table, laying down a plate of steaks; it must be what Hana ordered. The waiter then put a tiny cup of black coffee in front of me.

When the waiter left, Hana took her fork and knife. She looked at my coffee and sighed. "Here, order real food, or I'll feel like I'm child discriminating you." Hana forces me to take a look at the menu again.

It wasn't for the sake of wanting to eat that I did order the same food she was eating, but it was for the sake of making Hana feel better.

* * *

><p>The war was starting to become quitter, and enemy attacks were fairly down now. Mafuyu and Sasha had decided to come home, while I had to stay back. Hana was supposed to come back with the two of them, but when she heard that I wouldn't come home yet, she forced to stay back with me.<p>

Everything will start from there.


	3. Chapter 3

**A month and two days after last update, been busy lately and couldn't write so much. Expect the next chapter to be uploaded in a lengthy time again, but this story is not near to being abandoned, its just going to have slow updates, but new chapters will always be served.**

**tetsunoqwaser**: Thank you for saying that the story is good. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Things That Come To Have Some Purpose<strong>

* * *

><p>The war was already over, but there was one thing I still needed to resolve before peacefully coming home. It is entertaining to remember that I have long preferred the people from St. Mihailov as my family.<p>

At the early spark of the sun, the same time when fog has barely lifted upon the air, I escorted Mafuyu, Sasha and Hana down to the gates of the fortress. They were all carrying big bags at the count of three or more. Aside from Sasha who was already covered in a gray coat, Hana and Mafuyu were wearing thick upper jackets. Their faces were reddish in the cheeks and their breaths carried smoke cold as the ice of the near winter snow.

I stared at them, standing on the top of a three step elevated stair, wearing my black dress, and my arms crossed.

"Ok, we're good to go!" Mafuyu exclaimed as she finished fixing the straps of her long, bumpy knapsack.

"Ah" Sasha merely agreed, he looked at me and nodded his head lightly. "Take care"  
>I didn't answer him anything but I nodded back without a care. Sasha walked ahead after that, and the two girls quickly followed.<p>

I had faced backwards when I heard Hana's voice; she was unaware that I wouldn't be coming home with them. I didn't hear the rest of what the other two had told her, but I was already a long walk away when I heard her running back to me.

"Katja – sama! You're not coming home with us?" She asked as she reached my right side, walking slowly while panting.

"Do you even see me packed up Hana?" I looked at her, and she stared at me.

"Katja-sama~" She said in a pleading voice, but I ignored her.

"Just go now Hana, no one; especially you is going to make me come home."

I continued to walk as Hana stopped, she must have had double thoughts on it, since it took her more than a minute to run after me again.

"Then I'll also stay behind" She decided by herself.

"You're room has already been taken Hana."

"Then I'll stay in your room" I'm sure that glitters sparkled in her eyes as she said that with a big grin in the face.

I contemplated to just force her to leave again. "Go on already Hana, I don't need you here."

"But what about your souma?"

"There are a lot of woman here that needs to have some use."

Hana's hold in her bags tightened as her face looked alarmed. "No, I am definitely not leaving! I am Katja – sama's only Maria!"

My eyebrows twitched at her voice, almost shouting next to my ear. I looked pissed at Hana. "Don't presume such an ambitious place Hana, shut up now or just leave."

"I won't leave with Katja staying behind here, I'm also staying!" Hana took the liberty of leading the way to my bedroom. It isn't the one I had before; I asked to be moved to a larger room at the first floor.

Hana looked fantasized as she saw one big bed at the middle of the room. "Don't think I'll let you sleep with me there." I quickly let her know. "I'll tell them to bring you a mattress of your own."

Hana's back curved downward in disappointment, and so did her lips and eyes. "Yes, Katja- sama" she said in a sad voice.

At times, I think, all regrets could have been avoided if I succeeded on pushing Hana away that time. But, I wasn't a psychic to know what was happening in that girl's mind. It may seem that I also have a fault for not seeing it possible. I was very concentrated with the task I wanted to finish, that I didn't put any suspicion about the obvious changes in her, and to myself. No one would deny it, if they knew us, that it was quite the challenge to imagine us as being more than a master and a slave.

Honestly, I knew that she would stay with me. She was always the clingy girl to me. But I would never tell her to stay, since that would promote her some supremacy over me. The moment I let her stay, the first domino in the set of events that will casually lead to the unfair future has fallen, and it'll only be a matter of time before all dominoes' fall and wreck everything we did so hard to build.

* * *

><p>Hana is already standing up from her plane seat at the aisle; she was mushing herself with all the passengers that were also excited to get their bags at the compartment above. I was looking at Hana; my mind was still blurry since I just woke up from a dream. I got stuck in that world again.<p>

"Ah!" I heard myself yell as a big yellow bag hit my lap. I pointed my head upwards and saw Hana looking at me.

"My bad…" She looked a bit worried then she put her head back to the compartments. "What does your bag look like again?"

"I wasn't carrying any bag"

"Is that so? Well, let's get down then." Hana took the yellow bag from my lap and as if all heavens sung to me, she lent me one of her hand to help me stand up. I quickly reach for it, not wanting her to take it back.

Hana pulled me from my seat, fast but gently. The pushing of the passengers who were going out the door closest to us made me loose some balance and embrace myself to Hana. She didn't mind it; she was busy getting mad at the people who kept pushing forward the door. Back then, I was that person, easily angered and a bit tricky with people who touch me. I pushed myself away, knowing the consequence of my embrace once she realizes it. I placed my hands to my side and squeezed my body next to Hana.

"Let's go out now." I told her while pulling on the sleeve of her black jacket.

Hana lead our way out the plane, I couldn't see anything but the bodies of the other passengers. When we reached the stairs going down the ground, Hana raised her right hand to put on top of her eyes. The sun was starkly high in the English country, and the winds were roaring, flipping the fabrics of our clothes to the back.

Hana sniffed the air and exclaimed. "Nothing like home sweet home"

"Hana – Oneechan, we should go now."

"Agh, it feels really weird when you call me that" Hana brushed her hands to her forearms. "Just call me Hana."

A little smile crept to me. Once again, I can finally call her that. I can call her Hana. The name I've been calling in my memories, in my dreams. And this time, in real life, I would hear her reply to my calling.

"Hana" I called her while going down the stairs.

"What?" She answered without looking at me, yet it felt so good that she still heard me say her name, and that she answered to it. "What?" She asked again after not hearing me reply.

"It's nothing; I just wanted to test calling your name."

"Yeah? It's not even a hard one to pronounce." Hana took my wrist, dragging me inside the airport. "I want to get to the hotel now, hurry up kid"

An hour later, Hana threw her bag at the queen size bed of the hotel room. The room was rectangular, with two beds at the right wall. A big mirror and a flat screen television were mounted at the left wall. The ceiling was cemented and painted in dirty cream, the walls had royal red wallpapers, and the floors were made of carpet, colored in light brown.

The wall to the end of the room was made of full glass; Hana had swiped the curtains to the left, and was now enjoying the view from the 36th floor.

"So, what do you plan to do now, kid?" I heard her ask me while she opened a can of coke.

"Do you plan to visit your parents here?" Hana seemed surprised at my question. She stopped drinking the soda and looked back at me.

"Don't tell me you want me to bring you to them?"

I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "No….." I would want that, but I wasn't asking her because of that, it'd be useless for her to bring me to them right now. Who would she even introduce me as? Her patient student from school? Her minor age stalker? I wouldn't want to be known as any of those.

"I don't have any plans yet, and maybe you have one. You can just go, and I'll stay here to rest."

Hana stared at me for a moment. She finished her coke and threw the can like a basketball to the garbage bin. "Suit yourself." She waved her hand backwards as she closed the front door behind her.

* * *

><p>"Katja – sama, wake up now." I remember being furiously put to wake by Hana. She kept calling my name and begging me to wake up, but even as I heard her, I stubbornly didn't move.<p>

"Katja – sama, you have a meeting this morning right? You told me to wake you up yesterday" I realized why she was so frantic to wake me up.

"Mou, Katja – sama" Hana shaked me harder, and shouted near my ears. My irritation got to me as she did this. I threw my hands up and pushed her away, making her fall to the floor.

"You impertinent woman, don't ever try to wake me up like that."

"Ye…yes! Katja – sama" Hana was barely standing up, but I didn't help her. Instead, I went down my bed and stood in front of her. "Undress me, and get my gown, now!" I demanded her and like a scared mouse to a cat, Hana jumped off the floor and opened my sleeping gown. I stayed naked for a few seconds before I felt her slide my usual black dress in place.

I really don't know if it's her devotion or she has a hidden talent for memory, but she is one of the very few persons who are able to tie my hair as perfectly as I can, without me ever having to teach her.

I looked at the window while Hana was brushing my hair. She was quite for a moment, and then she suddenly asked me something. "Am I coming with you, Katja – sama?"

"No, Hana, you're staying in this room. You can't leave unless I say so."

"Yes, Katja – sama"

Just like what Hana said, I left for a meeting that morning. Although the fight of the Qwasers was done, there were still midgets of bandits to be obliterated before long peace can be achieved. I have my own enemy that I haven't faced yet, and that was the very reason why I stayed behind. I was ready to face that enemy of mine.

The meeting I went to was a strategy meet. Along with other military competent leaders, I helped in planning along, a route to get to the enemies base. We had to be sure we'll have the upper hand in terms of surprise, since the enemy had a larger number of troops. The enemy was mine to face, so I asked that I will lead the first brigade. I was given ten men to accompany me, all equipped with the necessary fighting skills and weapons, but I wouldn't go to battle with just them.

I went back to my room, finding Hana going through my cabinets.

"What are you doing?" I asked her with a cold, scary voice.

"Ka…Katja – sama…I was just…" Hana sounded so nervous; she was obviously acting the pervert that she was, sniffing my stuff and the likes.

"Forget it, get dressed, I'm going to a battle and you're coming with me."

"Battle?"

"Yes, hurry up or I'll take someone else to be my Maria"

"Yes, Yes, My queen, I'm getting ready now!" Hana changed to her black pants, black bra and black jacket attire. In whatever attire she had, Hana always wore her black neck choker. "Katja – sama! I'm ready to go!" She yelled happily as she ran beside me.

The base of the enemy that we were going to attack was located at the other mountain side from where the fortress was standing on. I lead the way for the whole brigade, with Hana walking just a close step behind me. It was afternoon that time but the snowy mountains made it look like it was still morning or late night. I found it hard to see clearly with the dark atmosphere, and once or twice, I felt Hana slip down the ground behind me. The walk lasted for more than an hour, and we all found ourselves at the back of another big fortress.

The fortress was situated at the middle of an icy moat; the men looked down on it, and wondered if it was hard enough to be walked on.

"Let's have someone to test it out then" I suggested as I looked evilly at Hana. She soon catches up to what I meant and quickly she begged me not to do it.

"Katja – sama, please don't, I don't know how to swim, and what if there are alligators there?"

"Hana, it'll be ok, you shouldn't be afraid of those things" I said, trying to calm her down. When Hana seemed at ease, and I felt her hold on me loosen, I pushed her off the ground. Her body soon moved down to the cliff going to the moat. All the guys from behind moved away to the back, getting terrified by Hana's loud scream.

I bent my knees down to the snowy ground and catched Hana's wrist with both my hands. She looked up at me, eyes tearing up. "Katja – sama!"

I smirked at her, as I knew she would act like that. I wasn't really planning to make her fall to that ice moat, since I know it without testing that it would quickly crack up if we tried to cross it. "The first thing that you should worry about Hana is that if you'll survive the cold water."

"Katja – sama!" She yelled again, putting her hands around my wrist and holding on to me as hard as she could.

"Do as I planned, now!" I ordered the ten men who were still squandering behind me. They rapidly left, in a quite run. Hana felt them leaving and her nervousness got bigger, like she was expecting me to really make her fall once were alone.

She said my name again, over and over until I pulled her up. She was all wiggling and heavy, and it took me a lot of effort just to slide her up the cliff. Once her body was on the ground, she was able to crawl her lower body up. She crawled farther away from the cliff and lied on her back at the cold snow.

I walked in front of her and kneeled down, reaching my hands on her head.  
>"You did a good job, Hana" I told her before moving my hands to her bra and raising them up. She wasn't talking though her body reacted with an excited jolt.<p>

I squeezed her breasts together and looked at her. "I just needed you to yell like that, so that their attentions inside will be disturbed." I leaned my head down and took in one of her breast, sucking on it. As my lips savored the souma coming out of her bosoms, I caressed her other breast with my fingers, pinching her pink middle.

Some of the souma were still dripping down my mouth when I finished drinking from Hana. I placed her bra down again and slapped her lightly in the face. "Hana, let's go"

The two of us had to travel to the front of the fortress, once we got there, all the guards were already down to the floor. The ten men I was handling were standing at the main door after the steel gates. As I walked in front of them, one of the guys informed me that there are many traps inside, a reason why they haven't gone in yet.

"Of course there will be traps, but your job is to get through those traps right?" I scolded them with the sharpest eyes I can partner with.

The men looked at one another, and then they all looked at me, agreeing to follow my lead. I made Hana stand in front of me. "Stay there, where I can see you." From all of us who were there, Hana is the only one who is not good in fighting. She can kick and punch but that's not going to be enough if she's facing the kind of enemies inside this fortress. This is another thing I hate about making Hana stay and come with me, I always end up having to look after her.

I can just let her be, let her get injured, let her get hurt, let her get doomed, but I couldn't. I cared too much for her, more than I've cared for anyone else before I knew her. She had that kind of magnet on me, she never tried to make me care for her, but she was able to. She also never tried to make me warm up to her, but she was able to. She was a completely different entity from the others, one that I instantly favored from the start. One that I couldn't leave behind even when I've tried so many times, yet it isn't so bad that way, because I know, she had never left me too.

When the brigade got to the heart of the fortress, from ten men, me and Hana were only with four now. Bodies were scattered at the floor and the smell of dying blood reeked the old stone and wood fort. At the heart of the Fort, the main room for the leaders was situated. I told Hana to stay outside while the four soldiers went with me inside.

As soon as the five of us came in, two instant arrows killed the two guys in front of me, I had docked in time to avoid it and so did the other two. One of the guys asked me what to do now, and I had to look around to be sure what to answer. The room looked empty of people, and somewhere in my gut, I knew we were caught in a trap. A laugh echoed inside the room and I recognized it, the voice of my enemy calling. It was that hollow, deep scorching voice that I curse so much. The husky tones and the irritating bending of his accent close to Russian mixed with some Spanish, I abhor them.

A large mesh wall cage with live electricity running in its walls trapped me along with the two guys who were already dead in front of me. I yelled at the two guys left outside to help me get out. Neither of them seemed convince that they should waste their chances of living in saving me. They were slowly walking away from me. I felt my eyes spit out anger as I yelled to the top of my lungs.

"Fine, leave me, but I'm telling you, Hana is going to save me and once she does, I will get you when I get out of here."

The two guys successfully got outside the room. The voice of my enemy started ringing in the room, and without a warning the electric wall of the cage started to move close to me, wanting to squash me like the insect that my enemy thinks I am. I can already feel the painful ground of the wires as they get close to me, and for that whole moment, I was staring at the door, waiting for Hana to come in. It was ten, twenty, thirty seconds, then Hana kicked the doors open.

"Katja – sama!" she said with a worried face on me.

"Hana! Hurry up, the cage is getting smaller" I was still anxious of the situation since I know how slow thinking Hana is sometimes, and there are really big doubts to be putted in the fact that she can really save me.

Hana ran closer to the cage and looked at me. "Uhmm, Katja, what am I supposed to do?"

I slapped my palm to my forehead. "Hana, can't you think of that for yourself? Can't you see I'm busy not getting toasted to death here?" Hana just looked more confused at me.

"Katsuragi – san! She's done for, let's leave now!" one of the two guys called out to Hana from the door, avoiding his look on me. Hana looked at him, and then back at me.

"Let's get out now, come on!" the other guy appeared behind the first one. They were waving their hands at Hana. I was looking at Hana but all I can see was her back, I wondered that time if she was actually just going to leave me.

"Katsuragi – san!" The two guys called her again, and this time, Hana run off to them. If only the floor and the walls of the cage weren't filled with electricity, I would've either of it, until it pulverized to debris. I stared at Hana, and promised myself that I will remember her face and make sure to have my revenge on her if she leaves me and I escape this trap.

Hana looked at me one last time and faced backwards, she walked along the two guys, and I remember so well, how much my inside churned with anger at her, and I thought that I will really hate her forever from then on, but….

She suddenly kicked the two guys from the feet and buried their faces to the ground.  
>"I am not leaving without my Queen" She said with utmost pride while pulling out two lengthy black rubber whips from the back pockets of her pants. She swung the whips like a cowboy rope in the air and slapped it to the butts of the two guys.<p>

"Now, stand up there and help me save her." She demanded with a voice, that even I felt compelled to follow.

Hana, run back to me and made the two whips tie on the holes of the mesh cage, she knotted them expertly like a true BDSM practitioner. She gave each guy one end of the two whips and made them pull the hardest they can on the wall. Hana stood at the edge of the wall, just facing front of me. The guys kept pulling harder as Hana continued to scare them. It felt like the little hope of me getting save was getting even smaller by the second, but I quickly got corrected as the mesh wall to my right cracked up and fell a few degrees near the floor. The two guys let go of the whips and shaked their smoking arms. Hana opened her arms wide at me.

"Katja, jump!" She signaled as the other walls were still moving closer to me and that the one fallen wall was blocking my way of getting out that space. I bended my feet a bit in order to save up some momentum and then I jumped as high as I could. Hana catched me and hugged me tight while maintaining her equilibrium.

As soon as Hana was fine, I made her face the two guys. I looked at them downward as Hana still carried me in her arms. "I told you she'd save me."

* * *

><p>My true reason for letting Hana leave the hotel was so that I can go through the stuff she has in her bag. I wanted to know so badly, if she had even just one relic from the past, that I can use to help her remember things.<p>

Nothing, there was always nothing to be found. Was I really too late? Is it solely my fault because I let the only thing that could change everything today, get taken from me?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I've been a very busy person, and I've come to the point of being unable to update this story as much as it should. I sincerely apologize for that, but I really have no intention of abandoning the story so I hope those who follow this story would be patient with it. **

tetsunoqwaser: Katja's enemy will be revealed, but that information is still a long way to go. Sorry for the longest time to take an update.

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><p><strong>The Importance of a Good Presentation<strong>

* * *

><p>Hana is already up in the morning, she's standing in front of the glass wall at the end of the hotel room. She doesn't know I'm awake now.<p>

I'm looking at her figure through the white blanket that's covering my face, she seems to be doing a little exercise, stretching her hands then bending down for a number of times. I can't see it clearly but I think she has a headset on, since I can make up some wire like figures going to her ears. After she made some last stretches to the feet, she turned her body to my side of the bed. I suddenly closed my eyes and ceased any movement. After a few seconds, I felt colder as the blanket on top of me has been pulled off.

"Hey, kid, I know you're awake" I opened my eyes once I knew that it was worthless to act asleep. I saw Hana looking down at me, her eyes of brown with the shade of dirty gold, striking a sharp yet calm expression.

"I'm eating breakfast outside. Do you want to come?"

"Of course" I answered her while coming down from my bed. I walked to my bag and took some clothes of mine, hurrying to get to the bathroom when Hana suddenly blocked the door to it.

"I'm going in first kid, watch some cartoons first." She was shooing me away with her hand.

"I…." I started to talk without realizing it.

"You what?"

"No, never mind. I'll wait here outside." Hana gave me a doubtful look before going inside the bathroom and closing the door in front of me.

I sighed as I leaned my back to the nearest wall, my hands weakened; letting the clothes I was carrying to fall on the floor.

"I have got to stop mixing the past with right now" I tried to reprimand myself as I picked up my clothes. As I sat at the floor in front of the bathroom, the sound of sprinkling water was very audible, but beneath that noise, I can also hear Hana, humming like she always does when she takes a bath.

The door opens without a warning, making me look up in surprise. Hana popped her head out, letting excessive water dribble down the strands of her long wet hair.

"Do you want to come inside?" She asked me out of nowhere.

I felt heat travel to my cheeks as I nodded carelessly with consumed excitement. Hana chuckled at me with a serious face.

"You're really fun, Kid" She said, as I expected. Her teasing was enough for me to stand up and try to walk away from her but she catched my wrist before I can even go far.

"Hey, I wasn't kidding about my invitation"

"You just teased me"

Hana chuckled again, but this time, it sounded a lot more cheery. "I only said that cause it's true. It's fun when you just don't deny what you want and show it as clearly as you can, like what you did just now."

"I was caught up so I couldn't have the time to deny it."

Hana forced my body to turn around, she was still hiding her body behind the bathroom door; her head and one arm are the only parts that I could see.

"Yeah? Well, that's good since I hate deniers." I felt my unease melt down, and gave up all the notion of walking away from her.

"So, you were serious?" I asked, consumed again by excitement.

"Absolutely, come here already" The next thing I knew, I was pulled inside the rectangular, narrow bathroom. The white marble walls and clear glasses now filled with steam were what I saw first before I turned my head and looked at Hana.

She was covered in a red towel, carrying a little basket that was squeezed between her side and her left arm. "Ok, now, enjoy your bath" She said, laughing as she left and locked the door for me.

"Right, she only asked if I wanted to go inside….not to bathe with her" I exhaled another heavy sigh in that early morning. And together with the refreshment of my body with the steamy waters of England, I also tried my best to remove the clutches of my brain to the past.

* * *

><p>Victorian inspired buildings, with a touch of contemporary English architecture. The streets in England are blitzed with these types of structures, and streets everywhere were narrow. It was very cold in the mornings at Europe, a reason why both me and Hana are wearing long cotton coats and Like always, we loved wearing the color black.<p>

I had a red French cap on top of my blonde hair that was tied in a braid and looped to a ponytail at the back. Hana was letting her hair dry out, making them fall flat on her back.  
>A Routemaster lane was easily accessible from the hotel. Routemaster's are those unmistakable, red, double decker buses of England.<p>

When we got to that line, after Hana dragged me through four magnificently decorated Victorian style buildings. There was already 3 buses waiting, but Hana asked me to help her look for the open top types, which I know is her favorite.

"Oh, there!" Hana shouted out and dragged me again, she pushed my back to hurry and get up the stairs of the bus. We sat at the last row; Hana was at the edge seat and was smiling joyously like a child when the bus started to move. As I looked at her, there is no denying that those childish expressions are what I miss the most, are what defined her the most, at least back then it was.

"Yohoo!" She yelled, and for a split moment, it felt like the past again. She would do this kind of embarrassing things while I try to sit farther away from her, afraid that people would think I'm with this crazy head. But that was the past, here in the present, if sitting even closer to her while she ignored me for the strong winds was a sign for others that I was with her, then God let it be.

* * *

><p>I safely got back to the fortress with Hana. The two guys who helped open the cage I was trapped in are not with us now. I told them that they're done for, if Hana saves me and I wasn't lying at that time. I truly wanted to strangle them with the use of Mama, but Hana stopped me by saying that she wouldn't be able to save me without them so basically they still saved me. In the end, I just gave them a choice. If they come back with me and Hana to the fortress, I will make their lives a living hell but if they vanish from my sight at that very instance, I would forget about ever knowing them and they can live normally forever on. Well, of course anyone in their right mind would choose the latter.<p>

Hana separated from me at the gates, I told her to go back to the room first because I still had to talk with the military leaders. That talk didn't go well, they were upset to lose ten good men and receive the news that the enemy was undefeated. Before the arguments could get larger, I left the room, I didn't want to be a part of such a stressful environment. I walked to my room at the first floor, I knocked on the door and waited for Hana to open it.

Inside my bedroom, Hana sat at her mattress laid at the end of the room, she wasn't doing anything but to look at me. I didn't care, I just ignored her. I tossed myself to the folds of my own bed. I felt really bad about losing too, I want to strangle someone right now, I let him get away again, I can't let this happen over and over-

"Katja" Hana suddenly intruded my thoughts.

"What?" I answered with the keenness of my irritation. I was staring at the ceiling, I don't even want to give the effort of looking at her.

"Are you alright? Do you feel painful somewhere?" I can hear her voice shaking a bit, she must had double thoughts about continuing to ask me. Poor Hana, I always have to scare her, and even after she saved me today I don't even have the decency to show her my appreciation.

"I'm alright Hana. You did a good job back there." I calmed my nerves down just to tell her that without a tinge of annoyance, I still can't subside my anger, but I can at least control the volume I express it in.

"I would never let you be in danger Katja"

I laugh internally, now she was being dramatic, I can't keep up with that anymore.  
>"Yes, Hana, I appreciate your devotion for your queen" I was actually being sarcastic with my tone here, but that drumhead still didn't get it. Instead she continued on with her drama, and the next thing she says is what changed the course of this entire story.<p>

"It's not my devotion for you, Katja - sama I love you."

My eyes opened the widest they have in my entire life. I rapidly sat up in the bed and looked at Hana. She wasn't on her mattress anymore, she was already standing in front of me. For a moment there I was nervous about her, but as time passes by and she only looks at me, I sensed that she didn't know what do next, and she was just waiting for my reaction. I felt like a fool for getting easily affected like that, I close my eyes and open them again, this time I looked at Hana with the sharp stare I always give to her.

"And how different is your love from devotion? Huh Hana? Do you even know they're difference?"

I tried to tantalize her with my words, letting her become confused. She shakes her head, and that made me thought that she was questioning what she said just now, but it turns out to be the opposite.

"I don't know… I have no idea why they're different, but they are. I love you, not like a devoted servant to her master." She said with blushes on her cheeks. She was looking straight at me, and I could feel her words slicing through my ears. It was actually able to penetrate my heart, but this was all boloney for me.

"Stop talking already Hana, you're not even making sense. If that was some sort of a confession, you should've at least made it good for me." My words got out before I could construct them rationally, why the hell would I even ask for a good confession? It's not like that'll raise the chances of me giving her a chance.

"Yes, Katja-sama, I'm sorry, I just didn't know I'll really be able to tell you that." Hana said, she was now looking away from me, maybe she can already feel that I don't care about her feelings.

But she is stupid, so I still have to say it clearly. "Well, now that you've said that to me, I'm dumping you." I told her with a nonchalant voice.

"Eh….eh?" Hana mutters looking almost like crying.

Now she was in a state of shock, she can't believe what she heard from me. "I don't love you back" I reinforce to her, just to put it more clearly.

"Katja – sama that was too direct!" She started to tear up in the side of her eyes as she bit her lower lip like a crying kid.

I have to say that sudden outburst of feelings from Hana made me feel a lot better. It must've been my sadistic side that enjoyed seeing her cry like that so I went on with my cold and stony charade.

"As if you didn't know how prank I am. Now skiddle away from me, and don't come near me, unless I tell you so." I wave my hand pointing to the door.

"Katja – sama" Hana calls my name in a pleading.

"Away, Hana, away" I continue to wave my hand to shoo her off. She calls my name for another three times, but I ignored her always. After a few more attempts to talk with me, she gave up and left the room.

As soon as she left, it got me thinking if she would even come back after what I did.

* * *

><p>Night came and pass and she didn't come back, at morning the next day, I walked around the fortress, wondering if I'll see her sleeping on a tree or a bench at the grounds. As I got back to where I started, at the front of my room, I concluded that Hana has left.<p>

When that matter sunk into my mind, I had an unexplainable feeling of lost. It did feel upsetting to have her leave since she was a good company at this boring place, and from all the smelly men and old hag maids, she was really the only one I was willing to be with.

Nevertheless, I had to accept it, she went awry and I can't entertain her if she was serious with her confession or what, I don't have the time to think about that anymore. I go back inside my room and again, I felt the disadvantage of not having her around. It was hard to get into a different dress alone and of course, there are still these blonde strands to tie.

I got change to a red dress of mine that was sleeveless and had white laces at the edges. My gloves were also the same style. As I walk out of the room again, I cross to the other building in the fortress, just at the opposite of the building where my bedroom is. Since that building was the last building at the back, its door was facing the south, so I still have to go around the building to get inside. I go to the rear left side of the building, there was a small gap open between the hollow fortress walls that was a shortcut for me to reach the other side faster.

When I got out of the gap, someone quickly grabbed me in the hands from my back. I fight for my hands freedom, but it was useless, there were many of them behind me, and before I can call out for help they covered my eyes and mouth with a cloth.

I felt my body being carried in the armpits to different directions, turning now and then and even walking up some stairs. They soon placed my body down on a wooden chair, I know it's wooden because of the texture.

The blindfold was taken away from my eyes, but I still wasn't able to see anything. I spit the cloth stuffed on my mouth and try to look around. I could only see black from everywhere. I felt a presence inside the room, and it walked in front of me, slowly going around the chair I was sitting on. The sound of a knife slicing through thick hairs of rope is what I can only comprehend amidst the darkness. My hands begin to feel lighter and soon they were set free from being attached together. In the far beyond of my mind, I recognize the presence of this person with me, and as the lights turn on, my hunch was correct.

Hana stood a distance away from me, she was wearing a very attractive suit at that time. It fit her well, she looked almost like a prince in a royal party. I don't know how long I stared at her before I realized that the whole room we were in looked like a royal party. The walls were covered in silky red and gold curtains with many props like standing candlelight's, elaborately designed foliage columns, a chandelier at the middle of the room and a circular table in front of me with a white blanket of intricate design and table ware shining in silver.

I cracked up a laugh, a deep and long lasting laugh. "Is this your poor excuse at trying to seduce me Hana?"

The girl in short hair managed to laugh as well, she might as well think of this as funny like me. Yet she stopped laughing just as soon as she started then she straighten up her body. She cleared her throat with her right hand raised in front of her mouth.

"I know the difference between love and devotion now" She said with a pretty serious face. I raised one eyebrow at her, I certainly want to hear what she'd say about it.

"Do tell me, Hana"

Hana walked towards me, her suit colored in black with a red tie that match my dress made her look dashing in the room. She bent on one knee in front of me, the same position when a man proposes.

"Devotion means worshipping someone and love means having strong affections for someone"

I curl my lips to a smirk. "What a literal answer Hana, you could find that at any dictionary, but what about your own feelings?"

Hana took my right hand on hers, she raised it up to a position where she was likely going to kiss it, but she stopped midway and looked at me.

"I realized that you were right Katja – sama, it was devotion all along."

Two things surfaced in my mind at that time, first was that I won the argument again, and second was that, I felt disappointed about her answer. The latter thought was one thing I hid at the corners of my mind, it was a foolish thing to think about because if I had thought of that, then it means I did want Hana to tell me she loves me. When I realized I had that idea in mind, it made me laugh because I had never yearned for someone to love me. It had never crossed my mind and it was again, foolish that I was asking for it, and worst, I was asking it from her.

"But" Hana talked again, and I listened to what she would say next.

"I was also right, Katja – sama, because devotion is also a strong feeling of love."

She spoke so charmingly and confident I was awed and suspicious if she was really Hana. Her words strung chords that reverberated in my heart. I must have looked so flushed in front of her at that time because she suddenly smiled with victory pasted all over her lips. I was supposed to be mad at her smile, but I wasn't, I was intimidated by it, I didn't know this Hana, I didn't ever expect to see this side of her. I was the poor one now, poor Katja, she's all confused and flabbergasted she doesn't know what to do. The same as I was oblivious to this otherworldly Hana, I am also oblivious to this flushed, and embarrassingly swayed me. I should laugh at myself for having my heart skip a beat with her confession but that would be pure mockery to oneself.

I took my hand away from Hana's for it was starting to feel warmer by the minute. Her smile disappeared after that and she started to look sad.

"Still no good huh?" She said, and I should've told her that _"It is"_ but my mouth has been out of my control since yesterday.

"No" I said, and then I retreated before I can speak any more. Yet that one word once again sparked the fabulously dressed suitor in front of me.

Hana clutch the dress I was holding and excitedly asked me a question I can't describe how it reeled me. "Then does that mean you would be my girlfriend?"

My eyes twitched and my head hurt, it was a sudden pain similar to a brain freeze when you drink cold drinks too rapidly. I must say that I'm a very indifferent person most of the times, and sadistic at other times, but never have I been this startled by someone. What was she thinking? How could she possibly hope for a committed relationship with another girl almost half her age?

"You're crazy" I told her, with my voice sounding more scared than mad which was what I was actually feeling.

"Is that a yes or no?" Hana's eye twinkles still wasn't going away. I can feel her pull on my dress, she wasn't going to stop unless I answered her either of the two.

I know inside of me that I needed and wanted to say NO, but at the same time, I was thinking about how things would go if I chose yes. In a fast premonition, I imagined that if I said yes, then I would have this love stricken devoted servant for the rest of my life, and that's not a bad future.

"It's a yes, Hana" I said, and she came full on me, embracing me so tightly. From that very moment I know this decision would have its consequences. It is to be expected that she would become clingier to me, and worst, she would ask for me to return her so called love.

And so to avoid this accompanying constraints in a relationship, I have to tell her one thing she should know.

"But I don't love you" I shout out as I try to push her away from me. She gets the message and she lets go of me by herself. "I don't love you, Hana. You're going to be in a lot of pain with me."

I know I had to bring it up in the air because I was so sure that I would hurt her, and it's not the kind of pain her body would enjoy. I really didn't love her at that time, and I was knowledgeable to know that unrequited love hurts. Well, now I know it doesn't just hurts, it's so painful, it kills you alive.

Anyways, back to that favorite memory of mine, since I knew that time that I didn't love her –yet, and I had mercy for Hana, I wanted to give her the chance to choose between just being my silly servant and Maria, or become a lover that wouldn't be love back.

"I love the sound of pain with you" Hana took my right hand again and this time she kissed it in the skin above my knuckles. It bothered me how much she accepted a pathetic fate with me so happily. I even wanted to just take back my answer and dash out of the room, let her leave for good.

But, the kiss of her lips on my hand melted me in a way I never expected.

And I decided I wanted to know what else that I don't expect, will happen.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, so school is over. Vacation's here. And man does this story need to move! Hello, I know I'm a dreadful author for taking so long to update. Too long actually. But, I'm dedicating my summer to finish this story. Updates are going to get steadier and FASTER now, so I hope that's enough to make up for everything!**

_tetsunoqwaser:_ Sorry for the long time. Well, I kind of planned it to be not-so-romantic cause there are better things to happen. Also, thank you always for the support. I hope I haven't tired you out yet of this story.

_one-R:_ Here's the update...and yeah, sorry too. Thanks for loving it :)

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><p><strong>Sparks happen<strong>

* * *

><p>After a more specific relationship between me and Hana was cemented, things got a lot trickier.<p>

"Can I call you Katja?" Hana asked me first thing in the morning even before I can take a bite at my breakfast.

"No, Hana." I told her. I looked at her quite annoyed that morning. It has only been a day since I agreed to become her _"girlfriend" _and she's already starting to be territorial. "Get me some water" I ordered her, hoping she would stop staring at me.

"Yes, Katja – sama" She took the empty glass next to my plate of eggs. The gallons of water were stored in the rear left corner of the giant dining room on the ground floor of the fortress.

I'm not a morning person and I'm not very used to eating breakfast, but today I need to go somewhere early. The trip to there is going to be strenuous so I had to prepare myself.

Hana returns with my glass full of water now, actually it was too full the contents were dripping down the goblet glass. I didn't take it, I pushed Hana's hand back to her chest. The water spilled on her chestnut colored t-shirt.

"I don't want water spilling on me Hana" I complained to her.

Hana simply smiled and lift the glass to her lips, she sip a fair amount of the water and wiped the glass before putting it down where she took it from the table.

"Uck" I muttered as I wipe the rim of the glass with the tissue. Hana sat back to her chair that was adjacent to mine. She saw what I did and for a moment, it looked like she was going to be mad at me.

"Katja, it's ok to share the glass, we're girlfriends now." She said. I examined how her voice sounded, it was calm and static. Her facial expression was unexplainably sunny.

"Hana stop saying _we're girlfriends now_, every five minutes." I throw the tissue to the floor.

"Nothing's wrong with saying it if it's true" She argued with me.

"UGH!" I exclaimed. I pushed my chair away the table and walked out on Hana, but she's not the kind to chase over people who walk out so there was no problem there.

When I got back inside of my bedroom, I was only alone for about ten minutes. Hana knocks on the door, which I left ajar because I know she would come sooner or later.

"Katja – sama?" She asked, her voice scared.

I rolled my eyes up the ceiling and ignored her.

"Katja – sama, you have to finish your breakfast" Hana was still outside. I honestly don't know if she's afraid to come in, or if she just doesn't know that the door is slightly open.

I laid relaxed on my bed, I still had twenty minutes to waste, so why not play with Hana?

"I've lost my appetite Hana-oneesama," I said with my fake angelic voice. For almost three years of knowing each other, Hana should've known by now that my angelic side is a pure faux. Nonetheless; she falls for it, time and time again.

"Do you want me to help you get change then?" Hana slipped inside the room, closing the door behind her. She knew it was play time.

"Come here to the bed first" I tap the mattress I'm lying on.

Hana immediately took my command. She climbed to the bed and stopped at the vacant space next to me. She sat on her knees, facing me. I gave her a look, and it was enough for her to understand the situation. She lifted her t-shirt up, exposing her whole upper body. The pair of little breasts she had made a jump before coming still again.

She bends down over me, making sure her breast fell on my face. I took one of her nipples and sucked on it without relent. For a few seconds, I shifted from her left and right nipples. She moaned energetically, calling my name now and then.

I don't really know what difference it makes to be in a relationship with her and not, we've always done things like this.

"As I've thought, Hana-oneesama's souma is enough for me." I continue the game with my innocent sounding voice.

"Really?" I tried my best to catch the expression of Hana while she said that, but her head was blocked by her neck from my position under her breasts.

"Uhm" I simply muttered.

Hana moved after that, and I didn't really know what position she was going to. At first, I thought she was going to stand up, but when she got to her knees, she went back down to me again.

"I'm glad to satisfy you then," Hana said while tightly embracing me.

* * *

><p>"Ekaterina"<p>

"Hana, please don't call me that"

"You wanted to call me Hana, I let you. Now, I want to call you Ekaterina, and you have to let me. We need to make things fair here."

The wind was still blowing hard even when we were down the Routemaster. My hair would have been flying everywhere, if it weren't for my tight ponytail and my tucked French cap. Hana's hair was untied, and she was constantly brushing the flying strands of her orange hair in place.

"Why Ekaterina?" I asked her.

Hana raised an eyebrow at me. "Because I don't like Katja. It sounds childish, and I don't like childish."

The serious look on Hana's face was unnerving, it was as if I was back to square one. I don't understand her again, and I don't know how to deal with her when she's like this. Her eyes were boring into me, I don't know if she's judging me or she's simply musing.

"Besides" Hana takes my hand and twirls me in full revolution. I didn't expect that. "You look very mature although you're little, it'll be a shame if I just pass you off as a kid every time."

"What do you mean?"

"I do find you attractive Ekaterina, but you're just so young, it's a cock block to me."

"Attractive in what way are we talking about?"

"In a way where you can enter my date list."

"I thought you're not into me?"

"I'm more fluid than you can expect." Hana bent down to level her head with mine. The sudden contact of our eyes made me flush. Her eyes were always like a mysterious painting, that's comparable to any other, but it pulls you as if it was the best beautiful thing you could set your eyes on. Hana ran her thumb from my cheek to my lips, and then it stayed there. I could feel the light press of her thumb, and seeing her lips so close made me want to taste them. How I would give anything just to kiss her right then and there.

"If you give up the frills, and the laces, and the dumb nickname..." Hana's eyes travelled to my lips. "I might just fall in love with you" She whispered closely to my lips, making them quiver in the heat of her breath.

I swallowed, deep. Her words, her warmth, her voice. They were swirling my stomach. Remembering the past, and experiencing this right now is like a transition from dreams to reality. Maybe, I won't ever be able to bring back her memories, but I have the chance to make her fall in love with me again. We can both create a new story, and perhaps, this time, I can do the relationship correctly.

As much as I loved the feeling of her thumb on my lips, I removed Hana's hand with my own. She made a sound of surprise with my action, but her hand remained motionless.  
>Slowly, I took her hand and kissed it, making her jolt a bit.<p>

"…Anything to have it all back." I chocked on my own words. The tears suppressed in my eyes were shouting to let me not accept this. I mustn't let go of the past, but I can't keep living in it too. The Hana in my past is gone now, and I have to move on. I've been trapped so long in the delirium of keeping things the way they were, when in reality, as long as Hana's like this. There is no chance to be so.

The hand I've been kissing was escaping me now. It freed itself and found its way on the side of my face. "Are you crying?" Hana asked me, looking genuinely worried.

"Can I tell you something you would hate to hear?"  
>Hana looked confused but she played nice by nodding her head.<br>"I love you, and I loved you even before."  
>"Before?"<br>"You won't remember it, but if you did, you would say I'm lying. I'm not."  
>Hana stayed quite. I suppose she didn't know what to say, so I continued to talk. "I won't make the same mistakes back then Hana, I promise. I know you don't remember them anymore, but don't worry, I won't let you experience them again. For all the love, and the sacrifices you gave to me before, I will do my best, every day from now on to give them all back."<br>"We're not even together yet" Hana said.  
>"I know. I was just assuming." The moment stopped. The tears weren't stinging me in the eyes anymore and my sadness a while ago became lighter.<br>Growl…  
>Hana's eyes widened. She tossed her hands and exclaimed. "You hear that? It's the sound of my stomach growling. You totally sidetracked us from breakfast"<br>"Oh, yeah, we were supposed to eat out!" I suddenly remember why we're standing in front of the restaurant.  
>Hana laughed and placed her hand above my shoulder, guiding me inside along with her. As always, Hana was one to put serious talks into funny outcomes.<p>

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><p>Hana looks around at the wide, empty patio. I stand at the door frame, wondering if I should ask someone to let her inside the building.<p>

"Just stay there" I feel hesitant to leave her outside.

"Ok" Hana answers, but her eyes twinkle. That spike of diamonds on the shape of her pupils made me believe that she's up to something.

A tall man draped in the clothes of a mountain soldier appeared from my side. He bowed his head a bit and pointed at the closest door to my other side. "Miss Ekaterina Kurae. The general awaits you."

I gave a last look at Hana. I saw how excited she was. And I was mystified more than I ever was. I didn't have an idea what she was planning and most of the time I could read her like a children's book.

I tried to take a grasp of what happened before we went to the General's office. First of all, I threw Hana away when she embraced me this morning. I laughed after I did so, knowing that Hana will soon say something like _"That hurt, Katja-Sama"_ or _"You didn't have to do that, Katja- Sama". _But I was wrong. Hana stayed sitting in front of me, wearing sadness in her face. Normally, I feign such an expression. It was always better to put that melancholy into a masochistic device. I would put more salt on the wound, and see how it can cut deep into the person, until the time that the pain becomes pleasure. However; I'm thankful that although I didn't realize the pain I casually poised upon Hana, I had the decency to stop the play.

"Don't just stare at me Hana, we have an important meeting to catch." I stood up from the bed. I didn't want to look back at Hana but, I can't hear her moving.

"Han-

I wasn't able to complete her name. All of a sudden, she was behind me, and her hand was travelling to my waist. The slowing down of the moment was furtive in its own way.  
>Her other hand was running down my back, lugging the zip of my cream nightgown in her index and thumb.<p>

My shoulders comes to the open. I can feel the tipsy cold breeze from the open windows.

"Katja-sama, that hurt" Hana finally said.

I was sucked out of the bewitching, otherworldly place. I began to perceive normal time again, and somehow, I don't know if it was an imagination or a fleeting moment.

"I…I don't care, just get us ready now" I disguise my growing worry with acting as annoyed as I can be. For the next while, Hana suffered a morning filled with harsh words and ill intended kicks or elbow punching in the stomach from me. Before, I used to hit her every time she annoyed me or entertained me. Now, I wanted to hit her because I was confused.

After a few minutes, we were able to leave the fortress and travel downwards to the mountains. The trip was silent all the way, which is a miracle if you ask me. Hana didn't say a single word. Besides being baffled how that was happening, I didn't really mind the silence. I thought she was mad at me, and I thought it was reasonable if she didn't want to talk to me.

When we reached the marketplace that paved the way to the grand city of the mountains, Hana was clearly excited. She smiled and sighed in awe with all the stores and booths laid side-by-side and row to row. It was a big, outdoor marketplace that was open to all the neighboring and far villages of the snowy mountains. You can find almost anything there. Even the consumers were widely multi-faceted as the products they sell.

Hana gawked at every store we passed, and I didn't care if she wanted to look. I continued to walk like I was on my own, leaving her to catch up to me when she'd finished ogling at the goods she'd probably not buy. However; there was this one small booth that she hovered much longer than the others. I don't know what they were selling, they didn't have giant tarpaulins or posters to promote their shop.

"Hana" I called out, realizing that she wasn't going to leave there soon. Well, yeah, I thought of leaving her alone, but the marketplace was a labyrinth. It was dead possible that we'd get separated and take hours to find each other. I wasn't in the mood to dip into some search party.

A woman of black -who I suppose is the owner of the store- gave Hana a quick whisper before the orange head left and ran to me. I was hoping by that time that Hana would say something, but she didn't.

"That's the last stop Hana. Any more and I'm going to leave you alone. Let's just see how you'll manage to go back to the fortress without me."

"Don't say something like that Katja-sama, you know I'm not good with directions. Even if I asked around here, I'm pretty sure I'll get lost somewhere in the clear mountains."

Hana and her helpless nature. Sometimes, it's cute, other times it's ridiculous. For that moment, it was the latter. Yeah, the mountains were barren and empty of streets and roads, but signs and directions are poled to the ground in every turn. I only get away with what I read, I don't know this place as much as I don't know how stupid Hana can be sometimes.

"Then just keep walking. Once we reach the first gate of the main city, there's still another gate before we reach the military base." I started walking again, talking as I did so.

Hana followed suit beside me, and I can't help but notice the funny smile that had creeped on her face. She was definitely happy at something that I sorely wanted to know.

So, we walked for at least another half hour before we got to the main city's second gate. The military base wasn't open for everyone to enter, but I had my name glued to its entrails for being well known in the business of war. The solid metal gate opened in a wiping downward fashion. A giant parking area was the first thing you could see, and a bunch of soldiers walking around in their black fatigue uniforms.

The Office of the General stood at the immediate right of the military base, and returning to where I finished a while ago, I was now inside the General's quarters. He was sitted at the middle of the room, clad in tall rubber boots, black silk breeches and a fancy blue overcoat whose lapels were adorned with pins and insignia's. His face was square and muscular, with a bit of unshaved hair sprouting below his chin and nose.

When he saw me walk forward to his table, he abruptly stood up. He took off his bunnet, revealing a crew-cutted black head. He gave me short bow and presented me to seat at the chair in front of his table.

"Ekaterina Kurae, I have to be honest that I'm between happy and anxious about having you here." The general spoke while holding a firm eye contact with me.

"Since you are Gen. Jinzaburo Asaka -considered to be the hero of the main city and a great strategist with a stick for being over prepared. I believe I don't need to tell my reason for being here."

Gen. Asaka made a little nod and chortle. "Actually, Miss Kurae, I would be honored if you state your reasons in detail. You see, I know that we have mutual enemies, but I don't know if teaming up is the best next move."

"I have a power that you can never imagine to have. You can let all those 60,000 men of yours fight for their lives and loose it without much of a single bullet hitting the devil that is Degaki."

_Degaki, the name of the true devil in earth_.

"And I believe that the power you're talking about, is the same power you used to abolish nations upon nations. I don't trust you Miss Kurae. Not one bit. I'd rather have my soldiers die in honor at war, than put up with your less-than-appealing ways of torturous murder."

Well, I have to hand it to the rumors. Sure I killed a lot of people, and he wasn't exaggerating when I let some "whole"villages smolder to dust. But to be fair, and honest, I deserve credit too. I did what I needed so my camp in the war would win.

"Victory has its sacrifices. I would've hope that as a General, you would know that more than anyone."

The General gave me a frown and, unlike how he first spoke to me, he was now hostile with his tone. "This conversation is over Miss Kurae. My guts are telling me that you're only here to find someone to use in your ploy to win this war for your personal reasons. I know that you only want us for manpower; you wouldn't actually care if none of us survives this war. By all means, the hand you want to extend is not a fair deal in our eyes."

"Fine." I said with a smug grin on my face. There was no way I was going to let him win this exchange. I stood up from my chair and walked out of the room.

My temper was already out of balance when I arrived back at the empty patio outside. I was hoping to leave the place as fast as possible, and without another turn to the dreadful office of Mr. I-don't-trust-you-Gen. Asaka.

"Hana?" I said in a small but clearly exasperated voice. I looked around and found that she was nowhere in sight. I should've known she was going to leave. It was obvious in her eyes that she wasn't going to do what I told her to.

I had to sigh just to calm myself. Hana can be so good when it comes to finding the right time to annoy me.

I stepped and circle around the patio for a bit, hoping that she would be back anytime soon. I honestly don't know how long I did that before I decide to just leave her. I already warned her that I don't have any inhibitions of whatsoever when it comes to going back to the fortress, and letting her find her way alone. And I'm going to prove that.

I got out of the main city and entered the marketplace once more. I traced back my steps from before, knowing that it was the fastest way to come out from where you went in. Against my will, my eyes wandered around; still expecting to catch Hana somewhere.

I stopped a meter ahead when I reached the last store that Hana went to. She was there. She was leaning on the table at the table booth, handing some money to the black woman inside.

"Hana." I called her, and I did not hide my anger. I'm very sure my eyebrows were sliding down from the incensed look I gave to her.

"Katja-sama~" She pranced happily before me. She was so happy, I wanted to burst at her.

"Hana…I told you to stay put at the patio." My voice was wobbly in locked up anger.

The orange head was nowhere close to understanding the dangerous situation that she was in at that time. Honestly speaking, I was on the tip of the verge of calling _Mama _outand tying her up, and dragging her to the snow in the ground until we reached the fortress. But of course, I was only very mad at that time, that's why I was able to think like that.

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry about that Katja-sama, but don't worry, I'll make it up to you." Hana held up a silk brown pouch, tied with a white ribbon on top. I figured that it must be something she bought at that store. She was going to give it to me, but I was not in the mood to play the appreciated and ever-thankful girlfriend. I put her hand down before she had a clear chance to offer it to me.

"Hana, why don't you just carry me? My feet is tired from all the walking since this morning." I said in a manner in which it was more of a command than a request.

Hana looked me in the eye, and I thought about how I'll _actually_ punish her if ever she didn't agree. Good thing she did. Her eyes closed and lips formed into a very curvy smile.

"No problem." She said. She stuffed the pouch into pocket of her black pants and faced her back towards me. "Hop on, Katja-sama."

I climbed behind her, and I can't lie that I felt a tinge of electricity when she touched my bare thighs to support me from falling. I placed a gentle hold on her neck, somewhat afraid that more of that electricity will surface.

For a moment, I had the silly belief that maybe Hana is becoming some kind of a human conductor. After all, Copper and conductors are what create electricity.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Back Again! Happy 2016!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Let This Be A Lesson<strong>

* * *

><p>Hana was able to get out of the marketplace under the supervision of my instructions. She kept going, talking about the things she saw in the stores. I couldn't care less. I didn't say anything except the necessary routes she has to take. Every once in a while, she puts her hand on my thighs and lifts me up again. Every single time, I still felt that tinge of electricity flow.<p>

The return walk to the fortress took faster than when we went there. I don't know, maybe it's because Hana was slightly sprinting rather than walking. I hit her in the head three times for going too fast on the snowy pavements. Of course, if she slips and falls down, I'll come after. And I did not want to fall and have bruises because of her silliness.

Once we got inside the fortress, I jumped down from Hana's back. She padded her back hip, and took a moment to stretch her body straight. She seemed tired, but she didn't let me know.

I moved towards my room, and Hana followed me from behind. Inside of my private space, I clawed on the nearest cabinet and erupted my anger with dozens of insults. Hana wasn't surprised. She's used to me by now.

"Katja – sama" She called my name after a moment of silence between my outburst.

"What!" I yelled at her. _She just can't take a hint! I'm outrageous and mad, can't she see that?_

"I wanted to give you something back at the marketplace." She shifted her face down and took out the silk brown pouch. She held it up to me. "It's my gift for giving you trouble. And for agreeing to be my girlfriend."

The goofy smile on her face was enough to taunt me to ruin her happiness. While I was in complete humiliated defeat, she was there, hoping that I would appreciate her token of apology and appreciation. _Well, I do, Hana. I do. I'm sorry I couldn't show you that in the past._

I took the pouch away from her hand and ripped it, causing the white ribbon to fall in shreds at the floor. Hana's face mirrored the sadness she felt to see me do that.

"Huh? What is this?" I asked, seeing a spiral of thin gold chain. A machinist clockwork pendant hung on it.

Hana took the thorn pouch from my hand. She looped the gold chain on her hand and raised the object. "It's a necklace Katja – sama. The string is made of gold, and the pendant is made of copper." She pointed at the object with her other hand wearing a proud smile.

I felt skeptical about the necklace. I gave her a doubtful look. "How much did you buy that?"

"5 bars." She shows a teethed smile.

When Hana said 5 bars, she meant something around $200. It was too cheap for a real Gold and Copper necklace. However; it was also too expensive for something fake.

I laughed cruelly at the orange head who seemed so mesmerized by her own purchase.

"You just wasted your money on that thing Hana. No one would sell gold in these mountains. Besides, that's too cheap to give me."

Hana's mouth turned upside down, but she regained enough composure to not break down completely. She forced herself to give me a weak smile.

"That's ok." She started to scratch the back of her neck. "But, can't you at least wear it one time, Katja – sama? I really thought it would look good on you."

I take away the necklace from her hand and whip it violently on the table. "Hana, would you stop being so stupid already? I don't want your gift! This is a worthless piece of wasted money and effort."

Hana looked surprised at my reaction. "Katja – sama, what's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"What's wrong? Hana you're what's wrong. Stop being so annoying. Stop it with the sweet words and ugly gifts."

The look on Hana's face makes me shiver whenever I remember it. I really hurt her that time.

"Ok." She said with her teeth biting on her lower lip.

For a long moment, I didn't care about how I hurt her that time. The silence between us grew and in the wake, I felt a guilty gut crawling to my body. After maybe minutes, I took in some air and exhaled it slowly, trying to regain enough composure. "It's the general. He rejected my offer to form an alliance." I stated in a calm voice.

Hana's face didn't improve, though her voice sounded more cheerful. "Then, you should try again." She suggested it like it was the most normal thing to do.

"And make myself look like a desperate loser? Not in your dreams Hana." I shook my head, totally invalidating the prospect of doing the bargain for another try.

Hana looked convinced for a moment, but then she started to blab again.

"That's not the case, Katja – sama."

I felt my temples pounding. I was gradually getting a headache with the girl's persistence.

"Hana, shut up."

But she didn't. "Katja – sama, you see, sometimes you have to make it clear that you really want something before you can get it."

Hana starts to move closer to me. "Look at how you rejected me the first time I told you that I love you." She placed her hands on her chest. " You were so harsh that time but I didn't give up. Yes. I looked like a desperate idiot who wanted you more than anything but I still got you. I confessed to you again, you said yes, and now I'm the winner."

_And what does that make me? The loser?_ That thought ran in my mind and it made my blood boil, making me even angrier than I was before.

I felt the roughness of the necklace in my hand and thought of something. I took two fast strides leading to the window. I stretched my left arm out, the necklace, dangerously dangling from my thumb.

"If you're so caught up in your idea of not giving up, let's see how far that hope of yours takes you." I stretched my hand inward, as farthest as I could, then I swung it back outward.

Hana takes a lap on the window, but she couldn't see the necklace anymore.

"If trying your best and never giving up can actually give you what you want, how about you prove it me, huh, Hana? Go and get your necklace back."

Hana's face was full of doubt. She doubted that she could find that necklace. She peered down at the window. Below the fortress was a big moat of murky green water, stretching at least 10 meters. Beyond that moat, and the giant concrete fences was a horizon of trees. It was a wide forest, with some areas starting to become barren from snow.

I heard Hana swallowed. Her hands tightened on the window pane. "Ok, but if I find the necklace, you will talk again with the general, Katja – sama." She declared a compensation.

"Fine. It's not like you can find it within this month. Don't even be stupid to hope so, Hana."

The older girl's expression didn't give a sign of giving up. "If it means helping you out, then I will." She went to the door and left the room.

_It's not like finding that necklace will get the general's approval._

Instead of getting stressed with all the stupid people around me, I just tried to loosen up and enjoy the show. I waited for Hana to reach the back of the fortress, where my window was looking upon.

She appeared from the side of the fortress and made a quick left-right check on the ground. She went close to the edge of the moat, staring at it.

_Is she going to? _Yes. She did.

Hana took off her shoes and jumped on the dirty ditch. She didn't come out for a long time. Too long. My heart started to beat a little faster. Then the sound of splashing water calmed it down again. Hana's head popped out. She wiped her face repeatedly and swam to the corner of the moat. I saw her do an exercise of inhale-exhale before pinching her nose and submerging down again. She did that for at least 10 trials. When she gave up, I heard her mutter "I can't see anything there".

She dried her clothes and combed her hair with her fingers. She looked up at the window and found me.

"I'll try the forest next" She informed me.

"Just stop it Hana. You look more stupid than usual." The older girl ignored me and went ahead to the forest.

I sighed to myself. As much as it was fun to see her worked up over something rubbish, her thick-headedness was just really annoying. I moved away from the window and paced a bit in the room.

It took me a lot of in depth arguing and convincing; then I left the fortress again.

Seeing Hana's stubbornness clicked some sense to me. When fear doesn't work, persuasion does. The thing wrong with me is that I threatened the General. I went there sounding like a tyrant conqueror – although I really can be - who wants to take over his army and win the war alone. Hana was right. If I wanted the General to install some trust or maybe just some little belief, I should try and go with what he wants to hear. After all, he looks like the kind of guy who won't say "yes" unless he knows he controls the game.

For years, I have always only listened to myself and to no one's direction. Yet, I went and chose to believe in what Hana believed in. She's not always right, but sometimes, she sees things better than me. I looked over the forest and saw no sign of her. So I took the second journey on my own.

I walked back up the mountains, down and inside the marketplace. I reach the central city and successfully enter the military base once more. A different soldier assisted me to come inside the office of the General. It was a good thing, because I lied about who I am. After my last conversation with the General, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't let me enter his office again.

It took about ten minutes before the soldier went out and told me that the General only has a minute. That wasn't a problem, it was more than enough.

Back inside the office, the General turns his chair from the wall to me. He looks astonished for a second.

"Miss Kurae…" He sounds off, sounding unsure how to react.

"I may have killed thousands with my last war. But none were killed in my camp." I started directly. "I only wish to get my vengeance extracted on the leader of this war. I can promise you that we will win. After that, all your men will savor the victory. You can even take my glory. Tell everyone that you finished the war, not me."

Gen. Asaka's features quickly emancipated a high level of thrill. He snickered.

"I must say, Miss Kurae, I did not expect this." He stood up from his chair and moved to a nearby cabinet, taking a sheet out from a drawer. "I wouldn't believe you so easily. But the way you look so frantic about coming back here and promising everything to this camp…I can't say that I'm not willing to try." He straightens the paper at the top of his table.

"I will give you the minimal trust I can, but that is enough for me to let you join." He pulls out a pen from his side pocket.

"This contract will be our agreement Miss Kurae." He pushes the paper closer to the edge. I lift my pen up, ready to sign when he stopped my wrist.

"Be sure to keep your promise. We take the credit." He declares in a thick voice.

I take my hand away from him and swiftly wrote down my name with my signature above. He looks satisfied.

"Consider yourself a legend." I told him, throwing the pen on his face.

Hours later, I was on my feet at the back of the fortress. The window at my room was still wide open, which means that Hana was still looking for the necklace somewhere. It was dark by that time. I didn't have a clock, but studying the height of the moon in the sky, I could conclude that it was already around nine in the evening.

I glance around the area, trying to see if I could find her there. But there was no one outside but me, and - wherever she is – Hana.

"Hana" I called her name. No answer came.

"Hana" I called again.

I got farther and farther away from the fortress and inside the wild jungle. I was embracing myself, the wind was blowing hard, carrying snow on my skin.

"Hana!" I yelled this time. Still no answer.

I kept pushing through inside the forest. I didn't know what was making me do it at that time. I was worried about her. I was gone for almost six hours and she still hasn't given up with the search. A part of me wished that I stopped her and made her come with me again. Under the breath of my curses with Hana's name always at the front, I soon stumbled at the center of the forest. The path begun to skirt a river. It was a long massive, and definitely violent river. The sound of its waves was so loud when you were close to it like I was. The shine of the moon gave you a view on the torrid up and down of its currents.

A scary thought came to me when I saw it.

What if Hana checked there too? What if she was washed away to the ocean by now? If she did do something as reckless as that, it was sure I will never see her again.

"HANA!" I screamed louder. Birds flew up and out the forest.

It was there again. The fear of having her die. I always feared I'd lose her that way. I was always afraid, so afraid, that she would die and I couldn't even do something.

Just as I was close to running and screaming her name. A sound came off, "Katja – sama!" I heard a frail voice nearby.

I turned around, no one. I turned left, right, and there –at the front. Hana was standing on the other side of the river, embracing herself tighter than what I was doing.

I squinted my eyes and saw a better view of her. She was soaking wet.

"You crossed the river?" I asked with anger.

"I thought of checking the other side of the forest." Hana started to look sad. "I'm sorry, Katja – sama, it looks like I can't find the necklace after all."

I was too far away, and it was too dark to see how Hana was crying, but I know she was. I could hear her subtle sobs above the noise of the river.

"Mama" I spoke.

A red goo substance travels in the air and lands beside me. It starts to rise up, and slowly build its form. The liquid materialized into a tall, haunting figure of a woman in a veil and a red glowing orb at its middle.

I stretched my hand forward, causing the puppet machine to take out its long sheets of red copper hands and tie it around Hana's body. I gently took her to my side and dropped her on the ground.

She was still sobbing a little, but she wasn't saying anything.

I tried to look around the area. Somewhere I can act like I saw it. Then I saw this big rock in front of me. I rolled it over with my feet, and squeaked.

"Oh, there's the stupid necklace." I said, crouching down and acting like I really found something in the dirt.

Hana's head rose up. "Where?"

"Under the hideous rock." I said and moved next to her.

I opened my hand and the necklace was sure there. I never really threw it. I just wanted to vent my anger on Hana at that time.

Hana's hands attacked my hand. "Why? I'm sure I looked under every rock here."

_Did she really? I will never know._

"Well, I won't be surprised if you missed it since you are that kind of a dumbhead." I simply said.

Hana looked suspicious, "I guess so" she said reluctantly.

"Get up already Hana, I want to go home." I ordered her, while helping her to get up. When she stood up, I could see how she was shivering. She's been out in the snowy air for longer than I have and in the garments of those wet clothes.

I felt bad about tricking her again. I wanted to make it up to her.

"Hana" I called her. She looked down at me. "Do you think you can put this on me?" I lifted the necklace to her.

Hana's eyes looked so happy at that time. She smiled widely and took the necklace from me. I remained still while she looped the necklace on my neck and locked it at the back.

"By the way, Gen. Asaka called me to say that his changed his mind. He agreed to make the truce after all."

"Eh?" Hana's voice overflowed with sudden happiness. "Good for you Katja – sama! I'm glad it still worked out even when I failed to find the necklace." Hana's hands dropped. The expression on her face showed me how much she believed what I just said. She was really gullible.

At that time, I felt a rush of appreciation for her, and I wanted to show her that. I took her hand on mine, and loosely held on to it.

"Hurry up already" I told her, pulling on her hand.

Hana laughed, and that made me feel so much lighter inside. I wanted to thank her. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciate her stupidity for pushing me to try harder. I wanted to say that. But I never said it.

* * *

><p>After our breakfast in this English-Mediterranean cuisine restaurant, Hana dragged me to a lot of places in London. Some were a walk away, some were so far we had to ride the taxi. She paid for everything. As always. London would have been a very scenic country to awe and admire but I was mostly looking at Hana. It was hard to imagine how different the amnesia has changed her. I remember her - the Hana that was mine- and spend time with this newly formed Hana and it sometimes make me feel like I'm cheating on Hana with another Hana. I think about how maybe the old Hana is trapped in this one's brain and she can see everything that is happening outside. And it makes me believe that if I constantly show up, she would get the motivation to take back her body. To regain herself, and come back to me.<p>

Time passed me by in thoughts and solutions that soon we took our lunch at Trafalgar Square. It was a takeout from a French restaurant where Hana usually came to in her college years. Before this day, I've never eaten anything from the restaurant because Hana always left as soon as she saw a shadow of me. Going out to enjoy our heat meal in the sun, we sat at the marble linings of the big fountain in the middle of the square. We ate with other people who chose the company of strangers and withering trees in their time of feast. While we ate, I began to study the humongous Nelson column at the center of the spitting landmark. Written at the black stone tablet next to me, Nelson is supposed to be the historical guy that they meant to commemorate that statue for. It was odd how it happened without me complaining about the tedious company and view, however, the day goes on and Hana and I stayed in the outdoor Square until late evening.

A show of water dancing in flashing lights started in the dark of the night. The superfluous movement of water and the prism of color from lights against shining marble attracted the childish behavior of viewers to go and play with it. One particular man had thrown his hand against the flow of the liquid, resulting in its splatter and drop to my side. I was ready to revolt for my sudden wetness, but Hana got up before me.

"Woah, man, calm down. Stop being such a kid." Hana scolded the guy. He looked younger than her for some years, but older than me.

"Ah, sorry," He said, looking at Hana rather than me.

"Scram" Hana shouted, and the guy left with his hands flapping wet. I stared out at him with a satisfied grin. I softly pressed on the dripping side of my dress, trying to make it less heavier.

"You, ok?" Hana asked, offering me her handkerchief. It was folded into a square, with a checkboard design of black and blue.

I stood up, and I felt the cold water drip down until my feet. I couldn't control the urge to shiver. Hana moved her hand to wipe away as much water her handkerchief could handle. She fumbled and wet her hands and found no change. "Oh, shit!" She impatiently stopped, throwing her handkerchief into the fountain. "Let's just go back to the hotel so you can get changed." She decided and walked away, leaving me to follow behind her.

On the way to the streets to get a cab, she bought three more bottles of beer in the convenience store. The travel back to the hotel is uneventful except for Hana giving silent death glares at the driver to hurry up his driving. Whether it was for my sake, who needs an immediate change of dry, warm clothes, or her agitation to drink her liquor, I can't conclude.

We arrived in record time at the hotel, and once inside the room, I pulled out from my black cotton coat and the white dress beneath it. I'm already accustomed of being bare naked in front of Hana. In the past, it always felt exciting to see how she was on the verge of attacking me. Tasting me. Eating me. That awfully strong, radiating desire on her eyes and her whole face. It always turned me on.

But now. _Well, she doesn't give a fuck._

She slumped down at the farthest chair from me. Her plastic of beer fell on the carpeted floor with a low thump but the bumping of the bottles created a noisy disturbance. She took one of her drinks, lazily setting the crown of its head on her mouth, twisting it and letting the cap fall off. She jugs it down quickly and proves to be contented in her bliss of alcohol. Unmindful of me. I watched her from the sight I had with my head turned over my shoulder, and my body still completely undressed.

"Get dressed. You'll get cold." She then said. I felt my cheeks heat up. _She was looking at me. or at least, noticed me._

Assuming that that would be the only attention I could get from her this day, I gave up and took a pink nightgown from my bag. The cold had started to invade my body and I'm suddenly aware of the dropping temperature. I compulsively slip the dress over me, but my head got stuck in its opening. When I tried to pull it down, I felt another hand pull on my arm. My gown fixes neatly, my temperature is back to normal for a second before I see that Hana is in front of me. The heat soon scales up in my body.

With little warning, she advanced on me and gripped my left breast. Her hand was so cold from holding the ice perspired beer and the iciness transfers under my light linen cloth to my bare chest. The sensation was surprising but very welcome that it made me bite my lower lip. It was an instinct for me to not whimper the pleasure in order to let her continue without distraction. She pressed firmer, squeezing my breast and looking me straight in the eye with an undone expression of lust.

"Hana" I called to her, putting my hands on her shoulder.

She leaned in and I slowly caught the smell of being drunk in her. I didn't mind.

Her lips presses to mine, and that was enough. It was enough of a reason to not care if she's drunk or high. I wanted her. Her lips that were so soft, yet rough with movement. The longing she has of only me was not there, but her longing nonetheless to extricate a sexual need of her body was present. And I wanted to do that for her. For so long and so many times, she had sought that refuge from others. And now that she is back in my arms, I will never let her go to anyone else again.

This is all about taking Hana back to me but when she started to lick on my lips with her tongue, I let her enter. She kissed me so fervently, I forgot about her and thought only of me. Of how I wanted her more than anything ever since I lost her. I had to hold on to her hair to keep myself closer, afraid that she might separate and disappear even further. The night was long and Hana touched me everywhere. She caressed my whole body, running her lips everywhere. Claiming me more than she can ever imagine.

I loved it. I loved feeling her make love to me again.

* * *

><p>- To be continued -<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Double Chapter Update for the long wait!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Not Quite<strong>

* * *

><p>Hana's hand traveled down my thighs, tickling me with her torturously light touches. I felt so imprisoned. No one had ever made me so surrendered like she did. I have never wanted to be touch so badly like I was now in her waiting.<p>

"Hana" I called her name.

She didn't respond like she used to, but her hand did. Her fingers pressed on the center of my womanhood. I squeezed her hand between my thighs. She chuckles.

Her finger starts to circle around my knob, pressing it for cruel short cycles before letting go and coming back again. It wasn't enough, I wanted her to touch me directly.

"Please, Hana" I embraced her tight on the neck. She rolled around and pinned my hands to the mattress.

She smiled and then she leaned down to kiss me again. I caught her lips with the thirst of someone drowning for air. Her hands started to let me go. I took that chance to embrace her. She falls and stays warm and passionate above me. The untamed coarseness of her hands around my arms, the violent tugs of her hand on my scattered hair. It was everything.

It was ok. It was fine even if we don't do anything else but kiss and hold each other the whole day. I just wanted her like this. I just wanted her –wanting me.

* * *

><p><em>Having Hana kiss me so passionately made me remember one time when I first felt different about her kiss. It wasn't so far from that time that she gave me the necklace.<em>

The next morning, I woke up with my body above Hana's.

I ticked my hand to my temples. _Why were we sleeping together in my bed?_ Or specifically, why was Hana sleeping naked in my bed while I was intimately tossed above her?

And then it dawned on me.

After we got home last night from the forest, I made Hana take off her clothes. I was going to toss her some clothes but I got in contact with her skin. She was freezing. It felt like touching ice. She was shivering and I started to get afraid about her getting sick again. I couldn't let her get sick again.

I took the duvet off my bed and pointed at the mattress. "Sleep here tonight." I simply told her. She seemed hesitant to do it right away, of course, she was stunned why I suddenly said that.

I pulled on her hand and guided her to the bed, making her rest straight and fixing the pillow below her head. I wrapped the duvet on her body, making sure she was comfortable with enough warmth. She was burning when I touched her cheek and I asked her if she felt cold. She nodded and coughed, and I didn't know what else to do, so I rested above her and embraced her tightly. It was a crime of mine to fall asleep before I could see through her needs, but the extra walk back to the mountains had exhausted me beyond what I can handle in a day.

Now, fully awake and aware, I looked down at Hana and studied her sleeping face. I loved that face. I only realized it late, but I really loved seeing the sleeping Hana. She had that younger glint and jolly innocence that you wouldn't see her sporting when she's awake. The fully conscious Hana was hard-headed in carrying the persona of a rough bully and a mean teenager. Two things she hardly isn't when she's with me. One look at her from the first time we met, and I saw it. And I will always be proud of spotting her.

_Though, recently, some work of curse or a freak nature is trying to take her from me._

I remembered then again her rising fever in the night. I run the knuckles of my hand on her cheek and relief engulfs me when I felt her normal heat back. My hand opens and cups her small, irritably adorable face.

"Mmm," Hana begins to stir. Her lips pressed expressively as her body begins to move below the duvet wrapping I cocooned her into. I pinched gently on her puffed cheek.

"Hana" I called to her quietly.

"Mmm," she answered.

I looked solemnly at the older girl, she twisted to her side, and her eyes opened. She shifted her head and then her beautiful brown oak eyes stared at me. "Katja – sama" She said in a meek voice.

"Get up, we need to go back to the camp." I snap back to my usual cold demeanor. Unable to act that kind and caring in the face of reality. I often wonder why that is so, and here I realize it's all because like Hana, I wanted to act like someone I'm not. It was a humiliation to be the Empress and have a swooning heart for a slave. I lifted myself away from her and took a walk to my cabinets.

"By the height of the sun outside, it's probably noon now. We need to get to the camp for my first meeting with the army." I spoke, looking out at the landscape provided by the open window of my room.

Hana made several more grunts before getting free from the wrapped duvet. She stood up from the bed and knew me better to take the sheets with her and drag it on the floor. Instead, she walked around the room, fully naked. She took a towel from her bag at the floor and clasps it on her body.

"I'll take the bath first," She said with a yawn and left the room soon after. It was probably for the best to make her wake up. It had me thinking at that time of how much sleep she was actually able to achieve last night. Did she fall asleep as soon as I did? Or did she have to bare my weight over her and look at me sleeping so soundly while she writhed in cold for most of the night?

_Up until now, I wished I really didn't sleep on her that night._

Back to the moment. After Hana came back to the room, giving off the smell of rejuvenation and a cheerful voice that greeted me "Good Mornin' Katja-sama!" I took a spray of the showers myself. Hana helped me to my dress, it was again, a black long gown with tints of white laces and ribbons of red on the cuffs of the sleeve. I took the necklace off in the bathroom and asked Hana to place a black velvet choker in its place. I could see how Hana looked upset to find my neck empty of her necklace gift but she didn't say anything about it and at that time, I was glad she didn't.

All in all, it was another hour before we were set to walk back up the dreaded mountains and to the military base. We didn't go to the General's office anymore, we were guided to the conference hall. Inside the big room, there was a roundtable on the center. The seats were a baker's dozen, and there was only one seat left. Hana was forced to stand behind my seat. The other people in the table looked suspiciously at her.

"She's my personal guard. If I'm allowed here, she should be too." I said aloud for everyone to hear it.

The men nodded their heads and pretty soon, Gen. Asaka stood up from his chair.

"Members of the High Command Division, I would like to introduce to all of you," He prodded me to stand up and so I did. "Ekaterina Kurae, she will be a part of the intel and strategy unit with full powers of command next to me," He added with a strict voice.

His deadpan serious face and his intended frightening voice were enough to keep the comments and opinions of the other members silent. All of them were wearing blue army fatigue. They had bald heads with black berets. They were old looking man, somewhere around forty to fifty years old. Seven out of the twelve had gray facial hair.

"Thank you for the introduction, Gen. Jinzaburo Asaka." I sounded so evangelic. "I know some of you might be judging my ability right now, but don't worry, I won't let you men down." I closed my eyes and smiled wickedly. The lights in the room started to flicker. One moment it was quiet then everyone screamed when I ushered a hot electric shot at the table.

The men looked confused at me. Hana looked delighted. "I hope none of you disobeys me." I said with a chuckle at the end, and another bolt of electricity hit the table. Their revolving chairs slid away from the object as fast as possible. Escaping the inundate heat and the strong charge of ground coming after its stir.

After the so called meeting where we only discussed the limits and scope of my position, Hana and I left for the fortress.

We always need to wake up early and get our asses back to the military every day. We needed to be there to get all the lectures and seminars about how the war was going in different villages. It wasn't the best job at all. My work doesn't come in unless I get the full data about the enemies and the progress of our camp against them. Also, it is a slightly hidden agenda, that the enemies should not know I'm part of this camp. The element of surprise, cliché as it is, we were using it.

Anyways, days were spent in a horrible back and forth journey from the fortress to the military base. But, it wasn't all that horrible for me. Hana always carried me on her back on the way there and back. Not that I was asking her to, she was the one who simply wanted to offer me the courtesy of being at rest.

"I don't want you getting more tired when you're already stuffed with your military job," She told me as a reason.

And without intending to, the people in the military has labeled Hana as my official personal guard. I didn't tell her that because I knew she wouldn't like it. She wanted people to know that she was my girlfriend. That we were a couple. Good thing she was too much of a dense head to even remotely notice that position of hers in the eyes of the military. It would've done her a dejected strike if she knew that. I wouldn't know how else I could make her stay if it came to that.

A month passes by too quickly and winter was on its way. The snow became higher, thicker, colder outside. It was a week before the Christmas holidays and the mountain people were thrilled. The people in this mountains believed in the God of the Village and Valleys. They celebrated Christmas and New Year like nowhere else in the world.

Even in the face of war, the people here were not going to stop celebrating. The military base was closed down for any transaction outside of enjoying the season and charity funding to give away for those who have nothing.

There were drives and drives of people at the marketplace. They were close to bankrupt but they still persisted in buying gifts for their loved ones. The central city was decorated with lines of Christmas lights, garlands, and flowers. The music was religious to them, but it still spoke of the spirit in that worldwide celebrated occasion.

Hana frequently stopped by some shops. I was sure she was looking for a gift to give me. But she never bought anything. At that same day, Hana and I went back to the fortress and locked ourselves inside my room.

Nothing in my room spelled holidays. It was still dingy, and boring. I sat on my mattress looking at Hana who was sitting at her futon, extremely pushed next to my bedstead.

She started doing that about a month ago too. She said she did it because she wanted to feel close to me as much as possible. Hana asked, plead and begged that we sleep together in the same bed. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. I hated sharing my mattress, especially to Hana who was in the least –a very twist-and-toss person in bed. At first, I reprimanded her for doing it and told her that she's never going to get close to a person just by sleeping in a futon next to their bed.

But Hana was stubborn. She still sleeps there every night. And then this one morning came. I woke up and stood groggily. I was going to the bathroom to lose some water, but my feet were waggling. I tried to regain balance, and then the next thing I know, Hana cried and held her hand tight.

I stepped on her hand. Unintentionally.

"I told you, Hana, it's stupid," I said rather than apologizing to her.

But, Hana still didn't give up. She forgave me that day and still slept there in the night. The next day, I did it again, and again, and again, and again. I did it every day, but Hana never moved away. She still slept there. Though I guess it must be because she is a masochist. She loves pain. What was I thinking that time!

Back to the time where I was watching Hana at her futon. She had her cellphone on her ear. She was talking with Mafuyu on the other line. Sasha and the others constantly made some checks on how Hana and I were doing. But I know it was only Hana they were actually worried about.

Hana laughed, and then she talked again. I couldn't hear what they were talking about.

"Oh, Mafuyu, you won't believe this, I have big news for you guys!" Hana started getting eager. "Katja – sama and I –

Knowing exactly what she was about to say, I gave Hana a death glare. I was not going to allow her to say that to them. I didn't want anyone to know that we were a couple. Those group of righteous sillywads would quickly tell Hana to jump out while she still can. To leave me and don't even believe for a second that I'm serious with her.

Hana's pause was long enough for Mafuyu to start saying something again. "Hana, what is it? What's up with you and Katja?"

Hana was stalling to answer, but I took the phone away from her and stopped the call. I gave her the phone back. She looked crestfallen at me like she couldn't believe I had just done that. The phone dropped from her hold and fell on the floor below her futon. I didn't give her any reaction and took the liberty of lying on my bed silently and giving her no regard. I controlled the light in my room to turn off and started making my way to sleep.

After a few minutes, I heard Hana move her futon to the corner of the room. She was as far away from me as the boundary of the wall could take her, but her sobs were unmistakable and purposely audible. She kept muttered unintelligible words under her pillow and sob continuously before starting again.

My eyebrows twitched every time she made those wailing gasps. The noise could have been bearable. I was far used to sleeping in worse conditions. What I couldn't take was her sadness. It was hard to ignore how she wept with all her feelings there, and knowing that I'm the cause. All the little bits of care, and love I had in my heart, then and now, belongs to Hana. Shortly, without a clear plan projected, I sat and explained calmly to her. "They're not going to believe you even if you tell it to them, Hana. I hardly believe it myself." I looked to see if this changes anything. It doesn't. In contrast, she sobbed even stronger. "This is the reason why it was better when we weren't _girlfriends_. You are acting so annoying."

Hana moved and shifted her head. She abruptly stood up and walked adjacent to the frame of my bed.

"We don't even act like one Katja!" She shouted, surprising me. "You're still cold and distant and stingy with me. You don't even want other people to know that we're together." Her voice breaks down to a low volume and more tears talk for her pain.

_She was right, I couldn't even make the effort of wearing her necklace more often._

"Well, hasn't it gone to your mind that maybe that's probably how I want things to be?" I said, carelessly. I didn't consider how those selfish slips of my mouth always cause her more pain. If I could time travel that would be one of the times I would go back to. I would slap my past self and tell her to shut up. Because that person she was hurting so much is going to be the most important person in her life. And she won't even know it because I was such a bitch when I still had the chance to tell it to her.

Hana looked downcast. There weren't any lights in the room, but the moonlight was enough to illuminate the thread of tears falling down on Hana's face.

"Hana" I cooed on her. I wanted her to answer back to me.

_Come on Hana, tell me all your anger. Shout at me, curse me. Hurt me too!_

The orange head opened and close her mouth multiple times. Always unable to say what she wanted.

"Hana," I said again.

"Le…let's just break-

"Please, sleep with me in the bed." I cut through her words. She didn't need to finish the sentence. I know what she wanted. She wanted it off. But I didn't. Even when it was still early in the progress and I didn't really know what I was doing at that time. I wanted to keep that relationship alive. Whether we or strictly I, am not acting like a real girlfriend, I didn't mind. I just wanted that title around.

Hana looked surprised. She looked harder at me. Examining if I was saying that, if I was serious. I move to the edge of the bed and tap the clear space beside me. "Come here, and sleep with me, Hana," I called for her, as sweet as I could.

"Really?" Hana's anger was washed like the wind. She was completely turned into this happy, enthusiastic being.

"Please." I mouth out, needing.

Hana moved quickly. She crawled from her side of the bed and was soon beside me.

"Katja – sama" She embraces me. "I will sleep with you," She said, filled with elevated happiness.

Uncomfortable and starting to regret my decision quickly, I push her off gently. "Just sleep Hana. No touching." Hana sighed but she did what I said. She shut her eyes and turned her back at me. I did the same.  
>The only sound left was the wood cricking and birds twitting outside. It was real silence and I was very close to dozing off when Hana whispered something into my ear.<p>

"What?" I muttered with my drowsiness getting to me.

Another messy whisper.

I couldn't understand a single word she said, and I know that with Hana, she's not going to stop saying it until I turn around. I couldn't see where she was because of the darkness. But I felt her lips grazing mine. The softness, the warmth. It made me still.

I really ended up not moving. Back at that time, I thought I was just shocked, but now I know that I actually wanted it. The knotty feelings on my stomach back then, they weren't annoyance. They were desire. I desired Hana so much, but I didn't admit it.

Hana's lips pressed harder and then she kissed me three more times before saying, "Good night" and turning around again.

I was speechless and motionless. I didn't know how long. It was long enough to wait until Hana was already asleep in my bed. And then it strikes. Realization of what she did hits me and I kick her out of bed. She lands with a violent thud. Her scream wakes the daylight of the whole fortress.

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><p>The next day, Hana woke up with a painful hangover. She crawled-walk to my bed and slithered next to me, resting her head on my lap.<br>"Hey", She said. Her cheeks steamed red. Her lips were swollen and beat. For the past two years that I've seen her like this, it stabs me with sharp jealousy, but now, it overwhelms me with joy. These are my marks on her. I smiled at her, sadly.  
><em>She's forgotten about last night.<em>

It doesn't matter, however.

I play with her hair, taking strands of it and circling it in my short, slender finger. She seemed to enjoy it, by the way she hummed sweet little moans.  
>"Good morning Hana," I said. I stretched my hand to the cup of coffee that I've prepared her at the side table. "Drink this, it will make you feel better."<p>

Hana raises her head and smiles at me. Visions of countless mornings that started like this flash back in my head. My strength begins to drain but before the cup falls, Hana takes it from me and sits up. She sips quietly and I remained constant in the chore of bringing myself back to the present. "Thanks." Hana passes me back the cup and envelops my hand in the white mug. "But I think doing love with you will feel better." She added with her hands enveloping over my own. I look up at her with my face heating and my head light.

Hana grinned. "I wasn't that drunk to forget about it, you know."

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><p>- To be continued -<p>


End file.
